


Who He Is

by itxokayish



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Arena Fighter Lance, Champion Shiro (Voltron), Emotional Manipulation, Forced Relationship, Highkey Gotta Hate Them to Love Them, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Identity Issues, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith gets screwed over as always, Keith is a hurt boi, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Lotor (Voltron), Per every story I ever write, Servant Hunk, Sex Change, Shitty Characters, Stockholm Syndrome, Surgery, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, a very hurt boi, non/con sex change, waist training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-06-05 02:14:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15160184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itxokayish/pseuds/itxokayish
Summary: Things don't go so well when Voltron gets captured. They all get split up, but the Galrans take a particular interest in Keith that he inevitably succumbs to.~Editing in progress~





	1. Splitting Up and Breaking Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is straight up sad, dark and messed up so just know that before you decide to embark on this journey 
> 
> I wish you best of luck  
> (Editing in progress, because a sequel might happen (WOW!) and I need to fix this if that's ever going to be a possibility!)
> 
>  
> 
> _Edited_

Everything hurt. His body, his head, and then his heart when he finally opened his eyes.

He was in some kind of pod. His hands were shackled together and he could hear groaning all around him. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the dark, but he soon recognized the faces of the unconscious people around him. It was all of Voltron except the princess and Coran. Lance, Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro were all knocked out cold and they were tied just like him. He could start to hear his breathing become shallow and he looked around for any clues of where they were. 

He began to look around and could spot a glowing tag-like thing on his ankle similar to everyone else's.

He first read Shiro's.  **Arena Combat**. He could feel himself wince as he realized what that could possibly mean.

He then went to read Pidge's.  **Medical Computing**. 

Hunk's.  **Labor Intensive Work.**

Then Lance.  **Experiment Lab.** He gulped and he looked at Shiro's arm. They had just killed Zarkon. Lotor had. They had just killed him. Everything was supposed to have calmed down. Lotor was battling for the throne. He was working on deactivating the bombs. Nothing like this was supposed to happen. He suddenly felt the tears start to pile up in his eyes and he leaned his head back, trying to keep himself from full on sobbing and attracting whoever was flying the small ship. 

He sighed and rubbed his face on his shoulder as he got the guts to look at his own ankle bracelet thing. As he was about to he heard the ship come to a stop, making a forceful impact. He gasped, and suddenly the rest of the people awoke. Painful and confused groans floating in the small space. Shiro looked like he was about to speak when suddenly the back doors to the pod-like ship opened, letting light in. It was definitely some type of Galran base or ship. Keith could tell from the color scheme and then was confirmed by the sentries and guards that lined up to greet them. He was harshly pulled out first, being the closest to the door, in front of Lance, who looked terrified. 

He tried to give him some comfort but then was thrown down himself. He realized from the harsh crash sound that he still had his Marmora armor on if you could even call it that. It was surely badly damaged, chunks missing and cracks forming easily. He tried to sit up himself, but then a harsh yank to his hair had him up faster than anticipated, blood rushing to his head faster than he could handle. 

"Pretty little thing," the guard holding his hair said. He hissed at him with the little voice he could muster and the guard laughed, spitting in his face. 

"It will be nice seeing you be broken," the same guard said as he let go of Keith's hair. It was the only thing keeping him up and he was suddenly picked up bridal style by one of the guards. 

"Where are you taking us?" He could hear Lance scream, then heard some electrical pulse right after. 

"Let him go!" He heard Shiro yell, the buzzing of his arm activating, only to be silenced right after. 

His vision was fading out, but he faintly managed to look at the tag on his ankle, lifting it up with all his might. 

**Pleasure House.**

* * *

 When he woke up he was very cold. He looked to see why and he realized he had no clothes on, not even the tag he had on in the ship. It took a few doboshes for him to get settled into the environment, which was as dark as the confined ship. He soon remembered what the tag had said and he started panicking. Kolivan had run multiple missions to pleasure houses to free prisoners, as well as get information. It was usually a good place to get intel, seeing generals and guards disclose information to the people in the houses in the heat of the moment, thinking no one will find out. 

He always saw how badly people in these houses were treated. Malnourished. Abused. No hope in their eyes, devoid of emotion. That couldn't be him, wouldn't be him. So he looked around, trying his best to find a route out as fast as possible. He had to figure out a way out of there. He tried standing up at first, but immediately fell down and whimpered pathetically in pain. 

"Shit!" He cursed as he went to touch his legs and there were nasty bruises forming on both his ankles, his legs numb and unable to naturally move. He noticed how his leg bent more than usual and he concluded they had broken his legs. He then tried to find another way to get out and started noticing how he was in a rather big room. His hearing focused and he could hear other voices, groaning in pain, or muttering phrases. 

"Hey," he called out, only to be ignored. He was about to call out again until he saw a door open, the light was blinding. It took a while for Keith to realize whoever had opened the door had thrown food in through the small opening. A hoard of people went rushing for it, but he couldn't even if he wanted to. He looked around while the door was open and noticed there were at least ten other people in there with him. There seemed to be some type of bunk bed system on the other side of the room. Where he was there was empty space, multiple shower heads above where he sat. 

He noticed how people were looking at him after fighting and sharing the food, noticing a new prisoner. 

"Where am I?" He yelled impulsively at the guard that had come in, who had turned on some type of switch. It lit the room up a bit, but nothing much than if a few candles lit up each corner of the room. 

The guard ignored him and he tried his best to crawl over, hissing and clamping down his teeth as he trudged over. 

"Tell me where the fuck I am! Where are all the paladins?" He yelled again and the guard came over to him and slapped him on his right cheek, causing him to collapse to the floor. 

_Okay, not my best move. Shit, that really hurt._

The guard was about to turn back and leave until Keith managed to recover, supporting his weight with his arms. 

"Where are the other paladins!" He yelled pathetically at the guard. He hated how hurt his voice sounded, but he tried to sit upright to make up for it.  This time to guard paused and looked like he was thinking. He turned back and Keith awaited another slap, but instead was picked up bridal style. He bit at the guard's hand only to have the guard click a button, and his wrist immediately came together. He winced at the sudden movement.

He noticed cuffs around his wrist, light, they had to be some type of magnetic contraption. 

Whatever the guard had clicked, made them connect. If he could get whatever  _that_ was maybe he could plan out a way to get out faster, before anything  _too bad_ happened. He had to find the others as soon as possible. He hoped they were at least less beat up than he was, less  _defiled and dehumanized._

"Where are you taking me?" Keith yelled, only to get no answer. He was about to say something, until the guard started gripping at one of his ankles, pressing down on it. Keith hissed in pain and tried to get a punch in as best as he could with the cuffs around his wrist. Of course, even the adrenaline pumping through his veins wasn't enough to keep him from staying still, the pain being too much to handle.

The guard dropped him and he tried crawling away fast, but it wasn't enough for a group of guards had started to gather around him. He helplessly managed to catch all of their gazes, and immediately looked down almost based on instinct.

"What's he doing out?" One asked. 

"Wouldn't shut up," the guard he had punched said, reaching for him. 

Keith bit at his hand. The guards around him started chuckling and he looked up at them. There were five of them just cowering above him. He was terrified, but he wouldn't let it show and instead stood his ground. They continued muttering, but at one point Keith stopped understanding, maybe they had some type of translators on.

"Thought we could show him what he's in for since he's so damn curious," the guard he bit at finally said in English. The guards mumbled in excitement and suddenly two grabbed his arms and dragged him further down a hall and took a couple of turns.

His heels dragged on the floor the whole time, leaving him to scream in pain as they dragged him like some type of ragdoll until they reached a room. There was a simple bed in the middle, and that was all Keith saw before they threw him on it. 

He winced in pain but immediately tried to get up as best he could. He was shoved back down, his back hitting the bed. He was soon straddled by a guard and something was immediately shoved in his face. It took him a moment to realize what it was, but before he could bite down on it he heard screams at the corner of the room. His eyes somehow managed to get wider.

"If you resist in any way, we shoot her," the guard above him said as he moved out of the way, allowing Keith to see a trembling alien girl. She looked older than him, and her skin was blue, and her eyes yellow, with tears in them. She looked terrified, in a way that drew Keith from his own situation and pulled at his heartstrings, drawing a deep ache from his chest. Both from fear and conflict.

"You w-," he said before the Galra who was straddling him shoved into his mouth. He gagged immediately, never having done this before. 

It then kicked into his head, this was his first time. This was going to be his first time. He gagged once more, but the Galra was persistent. 

"I-I can't. I-," Keith tried to reason before it was shoved in again. He was losing air fast and he was about to die with a Galra on top of him. 

He really didn't want to die this way. 

_Please, please stop it._

He thought to bite down, but then he pictured the poor girl with the gun to her head, he couldn't do that to her. He was about getting used to it until he felt two different sets of arms pull his legs apart. He screamed, muffled and tried raising his head up in protest, only to be shoved back down. 

"Just calm down," the guard above him said as he gingerly stroked his cheek. Keith shoved him off harshly by moving his cheek away. He didn't notice how damp it was until the guard had touched it.

_Fuck, when did I start crying?_

He was about to glare at the guard until he felt something at his entrance. 

Keith was tough, he could take a beating. His whole life he didn't have a problem with getting beat up, but this was different. This was a different type of torture that he knew he would take much longer to recover from. It was violating, it was  _horrid_. He felt so helpless, and everything was happening so quickly. 

Even if they didn't have a hostage with a gun to her head as a threat to his defiance, he was sure he wouldn't have been able to do anything to stop this. 

_This cannot be happening. Fuck, it's happening. Nononononono-_

And then he felt a burning down there. He screamed in pain, not being warned or using any lubrication of sorts. 

"Doesn't self-lubricate," one of the guards at the edge of the bed said. 

_No fucking way you bastard._

It wasn't long before the guard had put two fingers in and he was moving them painfully around. Keith never once stopped squirming, his eyes constantly watering. The guard above him finished and suddenly his mouth was free. He could feel how swollen his lips were. He tried to get up, but he couldn't, his breathing struggling to stabilize and his limbs stopped responding to his pleads. 

_Please, Keith. Move, goddamit just get up and fight!_

He was powerless, and he managed to become even limper as he felt another set of hands at his entrance. This time it was something much bigger. He suddenly heard a click and his hands were set free behind him. 

He felt helpless though, he still couldn't get up, the Galra above him still not moving, if anything moving Keith's hand for him and placing it down on himself. 

"Stroke it, you whore," he said and Keith tried shaking his head, but then he heard a shot. "That's a warning." Keith cried out more as he weakly started pumping the guard, his sobs becoming uncontrollable at this point. He honestly wasn't even doing much, his sad excuse for a handjob was more the guard stroking himself using Keith's hand.

At one point he felt some actual life come back to him when someone had penetrated him and someone was started working their fingers alongside it. He bet he had torn. He had to, he had never done this before. 

_Oh god, this is my first time having sex._

He cried even more as another guard straddled him just above his head.

_Why am I so fucking weak, god, just do something, Keith._

He looked up at the guard, only to have his cum splatter on his face. The guard chuckled and inserted himself in Keith's mouth. It was uncomfortable because not only was he forcing himself on, his ass was practically on his face, making it even harder to breathe. 

He suddenly felt the fingers alongside the dick in him pull out, and he felt a bit of relief until he felt he was being filled up with something much bigger. He screamed out the most horrifying scream as the second one entered him, causing the one in his mouth come from the vibrations of his throat. 

"He's bleeding so much," he heard one of them say as they laughed, thrusting harder. He felt the guard that was straddling him pinch his nipples as he told him to pump faster and he couldn't even register the pain.

He just hurt.

He hurt so much and his brain was starting to see black splotches everywhere. At one point, he faded out ignoring the pain in his legs as they were grabbed right where the large bumps were, his mouth, his chest, everywhere. The hardest part is he felt himself start growing hard as one of the guards hit a spot inside of him. 

He came and then all energy spurted out of him and he fell unconscious. 

* * *

He awoke in a firm bed. He immediately looked around and realized he was restrained. His cuffs were stuck to either side of the bed. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital like bed. He then tried shifting the way he was sitting only to realize his legs were up in what looked like stirrups and he suddenly felt his breath hitch up. He couldn't even see ahead of him, his abdomen having a blanket that reached all the way to his ankles on it. 

He suddenly saw a lady come in. She looked like a druid, only bearing the robe, but her face exposed. 

He looked at her wide-eyed as she went to sit in front of him. 

"Oh you're awake," she sighed as Keith glared at her. 

"Hey, I'm not the one that did this to you. I'm just cleaning up the dirty leftovers," she said and he suddenly felt something at his entrance. He hissed in pain and he sighed. 

"You're not healing properly. You tore from what they did to you last night," she explained as if it would calm Keith down. 

"They tried to stick three in you. Idiots don't know when to stop," she said as she applied some ointment. 

_They tried to stick three of their dicks in my ass._

Keith only managed to let his head fall violently onto the bed as more ointment was applied. 

"Your first time?" She asked as if was nothing, and it out of nowhere caused Keith to start bawling.

He didn't even mean to, he just did. 

"You don't talk much," she said and Keith wanted to punch her. He couldn't even talk from how raw his throat was from screaming and sucking-he didn't get to finish the thought before she was in front of him. She started messaging his throat and he went to bite her, only to get a scowl. 

"If you don't let me check you, you could get an infection and never speak again. You want that?" She asked and Keith looked at her, still refusing to let her touch him. 

"Fine, it's your voice," she said as she went to sit back down. She was wrapping some bandages on his legs, his whole calves. 

She must have given him something, cause whatever she was doing should have hurt much more. It still hurt though, everything did.

"When you first arrived you would not stop kicking. You need to learn how to give in or you are going to die. And whomever you are fighting so hard for isn't going to ever see you alive," she scolded as she finished at his right knee. He turned away, rubbing his tears away the best he could onto the pillow his head was on.

_Everything goddamn hurts._

"Will you let me check that throat?" She asked one last time and Keith looked at her and turned his head. 

"Fine, let me just check you for any sexual infections and you can go eat and come back to rest. I also need to check your translator, I think it's in bad condition" she said up as she went back to sit down, prodding at him for samples for the tests. She tapped some small device in his ear, probably whatever language thing she was talking about. 

Keith, couldn't care less. No matter what they told him, whatever he said, they probably wouldn't give two shits about.

When she was done she let the cuffs detach from the bed and let his arms free. She then brought a wheelchair over and let him drag himself on it after he wordlessly refused any help. She then rolled him past two hallways and gave him to a guard to take him to a table, where he was shoved off the wheelchair and onto the floor in the middle of what appeared to be the mess hall.

He winced in pain as he was forced to drag himself onto a bench to sit down, other prisoners not even bothering to help him. It felt like ages until he managed to sit down properly and he looked at where he was sitting, the creatures around him being anything but human. Some looked a little bit Galra, most didn't. None looked full Galra. He was about to finally settle in when he realized the food was ten feet away. There was no way he was making it all the way over there. He looked around him and saw the looks of pity, but not one creature stood up to help him. 

The lady had said to come back after eating. How was he supposed to do that again? He tried looking for the guard that had the wheelchair, but he didn't get long before he felt a touch on his shoulder. He shivered, not being used to his nakedness. 

"Last night was fun," the guard whose the hand belonged to said, making Keith tense. "If you use that mouth of yours, I can get you some food."

Keith off the bat shoved his hand off his shoulder and turned away, rejecting the offer. He was expecting the guard to say something, but then a prisoner who had picked a seat in front of him spoke up, it was a male prisoner, looked older than he was, the same species as Shay. 

"I'll do it," he said and Keith looked at him wide-eyed at his words. 

"Sure thing, come over here whore, the guard chuckled, doing the deed right in front of him. The food was brought to the prisoner as promised. Keith noticed how the prisoner had the same bump on one of his ankles as him. It was still healing but was far more progressed than his. 

"If you keep that attitude up, you are going to die in here darling," the guard whispered in his ear before leaving. Keith just eyed the food the prisoner next to him had. He was hungry, very hungry, but he wouldn't give into them. That was the last resort, that he hoped he wouldn't even have to consider. 

The prisoner then looked at him and then at the food and put his arms protectively around it, scooting away as if to make sure Keith wouldn't even get the idea as to ask or steal the food. Keith looked hurt as he noticed how everyone around him was eyeing him weirdly. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but his throat was still raw, and he doubted anyone would even give him their two cents.

"If you aren't going to eat, let's go back," the guard with the wheelchair said as he snuck up on him, causing Keith to jolt. He put Keith in the wheelchair and rolled him back into the infirmary. The lady looked at him in question. 

"You didn't eat anything did you?" She asked and he just looked anywhere but her eyes. 

"You are going to kill yourself," she sighed as she helped him back on the bed, making his cuffs automatically connect to the sides of the bed. 

"Just rest for now."

* * *

 Keith eventually went a whole week without eating and the lady, Gia, as he knew her, had to force feed him through a tube. She also had to sedate him to get a look at his throat, she fixed it up. Keith didn't know how, but it was much better after she did whatever it was she did.

All the guards took a liking to him, admiring his _fire_  or the fight in him he persisted to have. They all bet on when he would finally break, and with each modification that Gia made to his body, the longer it took for Keith to finally reach his breaking point. 

It wasn't until he refused to take in four whole people in him, Gia modifying his body for him to do so, that he finally broke. 

Guards brought ten prisoners in the room and threatened to kill all of them if Keith refused and didn't beg to be fucked. Keith just looked at the prisoners.

It wasn't that he wasn't able to let go of his pride. That was out of the question, if anything he wasn't able to physically and mentally do it. It had been almost six years from what he had calculated, and nothing he had tried worked.

The more he fought, the more they fought back. Modification after modification. He refused, Gia gave him something, changed him in some way that would make it impossible for him to not bend to their will.

At one point they stuck five types of toys in him, each pulsing for four days non-stop. All he could do was stare at the dark walls in the room they had left him in, and pull helplessly as his restraints. He couldn't even pass out, the pulsing too strong and the buzzing, annoying purple lights a reminder that he had to endure it, that he couldn't just pass out and ignore what was happening. Gia also hooked him up to fluids, so it wasn't like his body was going to shut down.

When they finally pulled him out, he was soaked in drool, cum, sweat, and piss. He remembered feeling disgusting.

They stuck him in an ice-cold shower after that. His body didn't stop trembling for a whole day from the sensory overload. After that one punishment, they realized it was a very effective method to get a reaction out of him.

When it wasn't confining him in a room like that, Gia just pumped him full of drugs, tied him to a stirrup, blindfolded him and stuck the toys in him, letting his screams and sobs echo throughout the whole infirmary for days.

Whipping, humiliation, starvation, broken bones, beatings, anything that anyone could attribute to the  _pleasure house_ Keith probably had experienced at least twice each.

It just happened to be at that moment that he broke. It was just he couldn't take anymore. He was near his breaking point, maybe even past it. Gia had modified him, pumped him with drugs making him desire sex, and he tried so hard to fight them off. He had lasted six human years still with his sanity, still in control, but he was teetering on the edge.

He couldn't let all those guards just have at him at the same time, it meant they won. The constant threat that people would be hurt if he didn't obey ate away at him. It all became an all-consuming force. 

Everything before the house became hazy, the only thing Keith could think about was how he was going to survive the next day.

Honestly, he didn't even know what he was fighting for anymore, at this point, it was just survival instinct pumping through him.

If he let this go on if he saved these ten people, whose to say next time there wouldn't be twenty? What would Gia do next? Five? Seven more fucking things in him? At that point all he would be good for was sex. He wouldn't have any more fight, hell he barely had any left.

They would have broken him, so he just sobbed uncontrollably. He didn't give them an answer, didn't look at anyone's eyes. He could feel them though. Gia said that his human body was miraculous, able to be influenced and changed so easily. Maybe it was why they pushed him so hard. Even though no one really talked to him, he heard murmurs that they took it this far with him and no one else. That they were purposely trying to break him, pushing him, and pushing him. 

And god did it hurt. To know they were pushing him for a reason he didn't know, to know that everyone was watching him, on the edge of their fucking seats just waiting for him to shatter. 

He hated to say it, being in there for so long, but he felt ashamed, he never stopped feeling ashamed. He never got used to it, sure it was less painful, but it was still rape. He literally had three dicks up his ass and a group of prisoners was watching him bawl like a baby. He didn't know what to do. He just wanted it to be over. He wanted to be done with it. He wished they would just kill him. Just hold him hostage for another prisoner, hold the gun up to  _his_ head. 

_Pull the trigger on me._

He wished.

"Fine," one of the guards shouted, and suddenly ten shots were heard. The sound the bodies made as they clattered to the floor, bore in Keith's mind, but he didn't even scream that time, he just looked blankly at the dead bodies to his side and stopped crying.

He just looked at them. Fucking  _stared_  at them. And he wished. He wished so hard it was him on the floor. Dead. _Free_.

After a couple of pulses, one guard finally spoke.

"Call the Emperor. He's broken," One of the guards said as everyone pulled out of him. He didn't even try to escape. He just intently looked at the bodies.

_It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does._

He suddenly was forced to walk and he didn't register where he was until he saw Gia's face. He didn't even give her his normal glare, just the blank face he had worn for the past half hour. He only got life into him when Gia stroked him and he started getting hard. 

"Time to get rid of this," she said, and Keith just looked at her not understanding what she meant, not really _caring_ either. He just put his arm out, so Gia could sedate him and get whatever procedure she wanted to do next. 

"Tell the Emperor that he will be ready for when he arrives. I will use quintessence to heal the surgical site so he can travel with ease," Gia explained. 

Keith then looked at her, and almost willing to try to break down what she was saying looked at her with the tiniest bit of curiosity. 

"The Emperor has come for his prize," Gia chuckled and injected the sedative before Keith had any time to react.

It's not like he would have done anything anyway.

* * *

"He is beautiful," a smooth and new voice said. 

Keith struggled to fully see what was going on and he barely opened his eyes. 

"Oh my darling is waking up, the same voice said, and Keith opened his eyes fully, noticing he was fully clothed in a long purple gown. He also took into account how he wasn't cuffed to the bed, his limbs free. 

That may have possibly been one of the only time Keith remembers cuffs not on his wrist in those six years.

When the figure got close to him, he looked up and he saw a new face. He jolted back, groaning as he felt a pain at his crotch. 

_What has Gia done now?_

He looked at the way his legs no longer had any bruises on them, how stable he felt. He didn't feel weak. He looked up again to see a strangely warm and comforting face. It was purple, but didn't look entirely Galra. It had white hair, like a person he remembered. He didn't remember it fully, but it gave him comfort. The smile was also sweet as the creature looked at him and then went to touch his cheek. Keith winced as he felt the touch, but then just gave in. 

_It's better to give in._

He didn't want to fight anymore. He was _tired_ of fighting. 

"Hey beautiful," the man said as he rested the hand on his cheek down at his thigh. Keith then sucked in a breath. A little part of him felt the danger and wanted to start running away, but just let them hand slide underneath his gown, palm at what it wanted to. 

This time though, he noticed how something felt different, down _there_. He looked wide-eyed as the man rode the gown up, showing bandages around his crotch, only there was not much crotch there. 

_What the- What did they do to me?_

Keith then inhaled, and the sound he made was the most pathetic, broken sound he had ever heard, a guttural sob as he brought his hands up to stop the noise. He didn't realize he had the willpower to cry anymore, but as he brought his hands to cup his mouth and nose, he started crying harder. He didn't own anything anymore

 

_My own body isn't even mine anymore._

"Hey, sweetheart, it's okay. Shhh, it's okay," the man said as he rubbed circles on Keith's back. 

Gia then came in and Keith lost it. 

"What did you do to me?" Keith yelled, and he winced at how weak he sounded.

"I made you better," Gia said as she walked over to a screen like it was nothing. 

"Now you can have more things inside you, you whore," she said as she walked out. Keith stilled in anger. He thought none of that was left in him, but he just felt so angry. He tried getting out of bed, but it hurt so much to walk, like burning hot oil just stung his torso.

"Shhh, darling, it's okay. Did they do something to you?" The man calmed him down. 

"I'm a woman, now" Keith sobbed as he brought his face into his hands. He was a mess, he didn't know what to do. 

"Here, here," the man said, bringing in Keith for a hug, letting him cry into his shoulder. "Do you wanna get out of here?"

Keith looked at him, dumbfounded, suddenly stilling once more.

_Who even is he?_

"You see, I'm the Emperor, and if you would like I want to take you home with me. To the castle," he said and Keith's face was still buried in his shoulder. 

He thought about it. He could easily be lying. This could be a trap. 

_But to be free, to go away from here. To not have to endure this anymore..._

"So? What will it be darling?" The supposed Emperor asked, rubbing gentle circles into his back lovingly. Keith thought about it. Maybe it was the fact that his brain was complete mush now. Maybe it was the fact that he had no motivation to fight. Maybe it was because he realized he didn't own any part of himself, but he nodded.

He said yes. 

"There will be rules-," the man began to explain. 

"I don't care. I-I don't care, just take me away from here, _please_ ," Keith said as he hugged the man tight, _begging_.

That was the first time he genuinely begged, begged with everything he had, which wasn't much at this point.


	2. The Safe Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith arrives at the palace and starts to feel safe.
> 
>  
> 
> _Edited_

They arrived at the "palace".

It was big and he was wheeled in a chair. If you could even call it that, it was more of a floating block with arm rests. The Emperor had complained that he was not at  _ease_ like Gia had said.

"It's not meant to be a miracle, it's supposed to make it so he doesn't bleed out completely," Gia had said. And she was right, there was no blood, there was pain though. Lots of it that he couldn't walk, and much less even think about it.

"Darling are you alright?" The Emperor asked and Keith just nodded somberly. He hadn't spoken since he begged Lotor to take him in. He hadn't thought about the decision, he just knew he had to get out of there. A guard started pushing the wheelchair and he looked behind him, that armor, that grip of indifference just-

_He's going to hurt me._

He screamed. He screamed and gripped onto his thighs and squeezed. 

_I thought I was out of the house._

"Hey, hey sweetheart. Hey, it's okay, I'm here. No one is hurting you," the Emperor said as he came in front of the chair and gently placed his hands on Keith's shoulders. Keith's eyes immediately widened and looked into Lotor's, seeking stability, comfort, something he wasn't given in so long. It subdued the betrayed and terrified look Keith had plastered on his face.

_I think I'm losing it. I'm losing it. Where am I? Who is this?_

"W-who are you?" Keith stuttered out, fidgeting with his hands in his lap, wearing a clean long purple gown that reached his ankles. 

"I'm the Emperor. I took you from the pleasure house. You are safe now. You got an operation, but things are going to be okay," the Emperor said. 

Keith just kept staring at him, not buying it completely yet and still breathing erratically. 

"W-where am I? I-I can't-," Keith panted until the Emperor got closer to his face, his hands still on his shoulders. Keith stopped and held his breath, not knowing what to do. 

_He's too close._

The Emperor came close to his face and then brought his mouth to his right ear. 

"Darling, everything is fine. You are fine, I am here," the Emperor said. Suddenly, Keith's breathing steadied and he felt calm. 

_What was that? I feel so calm, now._

"Let's go to our room, now. Is that alright with you?" The Emperor asked and Keith just nodded his head and he was pushed past hallways and doors until he came upon a rather large one, that slid open. It revealed a large bedroom. Keith examined it. The wall that they walked in on had a sliding door and drawers in the wall. There was also a doorway that looked like it led to a bathroom. 

"Do you like it, darling?" The Emperor asked and Keith continued to look around from his chair. He saw that there was another doorway on the other side of the bed, a big one. It looked like another room with couches and a small kitchen. He noticed how there were no doors, just doorways, making it an open concept, easy to spot and find someone. 

_Hard to hide._

He suddenly felt a hand on his back and one on his thigh. He was suddenly picked up and placed on the edge of the bed, the gown he was wearing hitting the bandages on his crotch, making him wince. The Emperor placed his hand on his shoulder and started to speak. 

"Since you are unable to walk, you, if you are okay with it, can stay on this bed and you won't be restrained in any way," he said and Keith didn't say anything. "I will be gone for most of the day doing you know 'Emperor' things," he chuckled. 

"So most of the maids will come to check on you if you need anything. You have to wear something though, that encourages your figure, is that alright with you?"

_What will he do if I say no?  Will he send me back? He seems nice, I should say yes._

Keith nodded and the Emperor smiled and went to one of the drawers, pulling a black fabric out. Keith eyed it in question. 

_Is he going to whip me? Oh god, I don't want to be whipped, everything already hurts._

"Would you raise your gown?" The Emperor asked and Keith looked at him. 

_Was this some test? Why is he asking me before he rapes me?_

He did it anyway, about to strip of his clothes, that he wasn't even accustomed to. He then felt a touch on his shoulder and he stopped stripping. 

"I am not doing that to you," his voice was gentle reassuring. "Just hold it there, okay?"

Keith's mouth was open. He was shocked. He didn't want to have sex with him? He wasn't going to push him onto the bed? Is that not why he was on it?

He instead just looked at the Emperor, he stuck one end on his side, easily and then started wrapping it around him. Never once did the Emperor stop giving him words of reassurance. He never stopped saying kind things when nothing bad was even happening. He finished wrapping it around him once and the other end stuck to the rest of it, almost magnetically. He then pressed some buttons on it and it got tighter. Keith looked at him in shock, but he was only reassured that it was okay. 

"We can take it off at bath time okay? It won't be for long, just during the day and at night you will sleep in whatever you pick out, anything you like," he said as he brought the gown down and over the fabric. It was wrapped under his armpits, covering his chest and all the way down to his hips. It wasn't itchy, just tight. He then felt himself be picked up again, this time gently dragged up to the right side of the bed where the bathroom doorway was. 

"You can rest here, you can press this button and someone will come if you need anything. If you start feeling the urge to 'urinate' then it is time to take the bandages off and if I am not here by then, please make sure someone comes, okay?" He said and Keith nodded, his hand came up to his cheek and he placed a kiss on his forehead before getting off the bed. He placed a remote on the end table, to call for any help.

"I'll come back soon, okay darling?" Keith nodded again and watched him leave. 

_I'm so confused._

He pondered leaving. His fighting side wondered what would it be like to try to leave? Would he make it? Then he thought about it more, it wasn't worth it. If anything was out there it wasn't a safe guarantee like this. Nothing as nice as the Emperor. If he wasn't lying this could be really good, but if he was, well, at least he wasn't lying right now. He had hope, he was being kind. And god, he hasn't felt _kind_ in so long, so he breathed in and he cuddled up on the bed and slept. He slept in _peace_.

* * *

_Shit, I need to pee._

He sighed as he turned on his side and groaned. He managed to sit up and winced at the still endeavoring pain. He then went and picked up the remote and he held it with his two hands. He let his head fall back on the bed frame and sighed. 

_I could just piss myself. I mean it's not that bad._

He then felt a sudden rush of pain on his hips and he dropped the remote, and he heard a click. 

_That's just fucking great._

He sighed as he brought his hands to his face. Maybe it was for the best, it did hurt. 

_Yeah, it's okay. It's fine. This is a good thing. Oh god, what if they are going to rape me? The Emperor isn't close. What if they are some secret guards and then they take me back and -_

He then heard the door slide in and he saw a Galra servant walk in. He was full Galra, He was skinny, but not too skinny. He was built, He could easily hurt Keith. And Keith looked at him like he could, his face pale and his knuckles white from squeezing the blanket too hard. The servant walked up to the end of the bed.

"What is it you need?" He asked nicely, trying to be comforting. Keith wanted to scream. He was going to scream, but then he thought of the Emperor's instructions and he sighed. 

"I-I need to go to the b-bathroom," Keith stuttered out and the servant got closer, gently taking the blanket away from Keith's hands. He was about to help Keith walk to the bathroom until Keith stopped him. 

"I-I have bandages on m-my," he breathed. "Down there."

The servant immediately nodded and moved the blanket completely. 

"Can you remove your garment and sit up on your knees. You can use my shoulders for support," the servant instructed, indifferently. 

Keith breathed in deeply and grabbed the gown and started taking it off, but then decided against it and just sat up on his knees. He grabbed the ends of the garment and just held it up so it wasn't in the way of anything. The servant didn't say anything and slowly pulled Keith's legs apart slightly to have better access, it made Keith hiss in pain and also fear. 

"So you are with Lotor," the servant said, trying to start a conversation. 

_Lotor._

He had heard the name before. He didn't remember it though, just knew it wasn't unknown. It was familiar. He then felt the peeling of the bandages and he started squeezing the servant's shoulders. 

"I know, I know, just talk, it helps think of something else," the servant said. "How is your stay?"

"Good, it-ah," Keith gasped. 

"And you hurt yourself down here?" The servant chuckled and Keith froze. 

"I-I-ah," Keith stuttered as more was taken off. He was about to explain when the servant accidentally touched him. 

"Sorry. You and the Emperor must be having  _fun_ ," the servant chuckled, Keith knowing what he was implying. He could feel his breath hitch up. 

"Don't worry, happens to the best of us," he joked and Keith lost it. 

"I-it's not like that" Keith said. "I-I'm just a whore who doesn't have a choice in anything," Keith sighed as he weakly supported himself, throwing himself a pity-party.

_I'm so pathetic._

There was silence and the servant continued, not saying anything. He then felt the last wrap of the bandage come off and he gasped at the cold feeling he got, down there. He was about to let go of the servant's shoulders until he felt a hand where the bandages had been. He cried out as he felt two fingers enter him, pull him open and he hissed in pain. It hurt, it hurt so much. It never hurt this much, not when they fucked his ass. This was different, it burned and stung and it hurt so much that he started breathing terribly. 

"W-what are y-you doing," Keith stuttered out, gasping, clenching on the servant's shoulders just to bear the pain. He could no longer support himself and his knees gave out, the servant took no time to push him onto the bed, resting his calves on his shoulders. 

"You think you have it tough? You think that being the Emperor's whore is bad?  There are people dying, people getting whipped, people being fucked endlessly. You have no right to be upset over just having a vagina other than a dick!" The servant yelled as he went and got something from one of the drawers on the walls. "You think you are such a whore?" He asked and Keith suddenly felt something at his entrance, the new one and he tensed up. 

How could he explain to this man that he was wrong; that he  _had_ been through hell. How could he explain that it wasn't him just whining when he couldn't even breathe right from how much pain he was in. He then felt whatever it was go in him and he felt his stomach tense. He threw up, he threw up right next to him, the mess getting in his hair, making his stomach churn again as it got all over his shoulders and neck. 

"P-ple-ah," Keith screamed as he felt whatever it was in him start to vibrate. 

_Oh god whywhywhywhy-_

He then started fading out, the same way he had when the ten prisoners were shot in front of him. He couldn't take it anymore. The pain, it was just too much. He faded out and just bawled in the same way, gripping onto the sheets for dear life.

"Must be so hard having your cushy lif-"

He then heard a gunshot, and his tears stopped, his damp cheeks, turning paler than they were. His legs falling harshly off the edge of the bed. He was gonna die. He always wished for death, but suddenly it all felt too real.

_I'm going to die with a vibrator in my vagina. I never even thought I would-_

He then felt the vibrations stop, and he tried to look up, but he felt the contents of his stomach get more into his hair. He heard rustling, and then a gentle voice spoke up. 

"Oh my beautiful darling," the voice said. It was the Emperor. Keith blindly reached out his arms and felt armor. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know this would happen, oh darling, please talk to me," the Emperor, Lotor, said. Keith tried to speak, but he just couldn't find the words, everything hurt. His legs hurt, his stomach hurt, his throat, his body. 

_It just all fucking hurts._

"Hey, I'm here, and he is dead. I will call a maid-," he said and Keith squeezed his armored arms and started breathing rapidly. 

"And I will not leave your side. I will not let anyone hurt you, okay?" Lotor reassured. "Can I take the gown off?" Keith nodded as he lifted his arms and let the ruined gown be throw to the floor. "Wanna bathe and wash up?" Keith nodded again, weakly and Lotor reached under his back and lifted him up like a toddler. Keith winced as he was picked up, wrapping his arms around Lotor's neck. 

Even as disgusting as he was right now, the Emperor was being so kind.

He heard the tub start to fill up and he figured he was in the bathroom. He hadn't seen it before, but he looked around the best he could. The tub was big, grey, a shower head in the corner, above the tub. Across the tub, there were two sinks, like bowls above the counter, they were red and another doorway was next to them, to the left of them. There were towels and rugs, and they were orange and red. He tried focusing on that, and not the pain he was in with the Emperor holding his thighs to carry him. 

"I need to change, but you can get in when you are ready," the Emperor-Lotor said as he went into the doorway next to the sink, it must have been a closet. Before he did that though, he set Keith down at the edge of the square tub. He still had the thing around his abdomen, maybe _Lotor_ had forgotten, but he didn't want to get into the tub like that. He also needed to pee, he really needed to pee. 

He sighed and looked for the bathroom. He spotted it, a section on the other side of the sinks. A doorway about five feet away. He took a deep breath and tried to plant his hands on the floor. He collapsed but caught himself the best he could. He then weakly crawled, which became clawing, to the doorway and grabbed onto a towel rack that was inside. He gasped at the strength that it took and managed to stand up, holding onto the wall. 

_All you need to do now is aim and you peed. It will be over, and you would have peed._

He sighed as he suddenly felt warm liquid run down his legs and he started crying. He forgot he couldn't stand anymore to pee. 

_I can't stand while I pee. icantstandwhileIpeeican'tstandwhilei-_

He then felt a hand on his shoulder and he saw Lotor, a towel around his hips, smiling at him gently. 

"Hey, sweety, it's okay, accidents happen to the best of us, you just didn't make it in time. Next time, you can-," Lotor said and Keith slammed his fist in the wall. 

"I can't pee while I stand up," Keith whimpered as he put his hands over his mouth and started to fall on the floor due to not being able to support his weight. 

"Hey, hey, let's wash you up, clean that hair, wash those legs, and we can talk about it," Lotor consoled as he wrapped his arms around Keith's torso and calmly pulled him to sit back on the edge of the tub, putting a towel before, so he wouldn't feel as dirty. "Let's take this off," Lotor said, clicking a few buttons and the fabric suddenly came loose, Keith let out a breath that he didn't even know he was holding. He felt so much better and he breathed rapidly as he regained space for his lungs to breathe. 

"Here, want to get in?" 

"Y-yes, please. Just get all this off me please," Keith begged as Lotor helped him wiggle into the tub. He sat behind him, letting Keith rest between his legs. Keith slumped his shoulders, trying to calm himself down. He was safe. Whatever Lotor did, he felt calmer. Just being around him made him calmer. It was weird. As soon as they got settled, Lotor turned on the overhead shower and unplugged the tub, letting the water cascade off both of them.

Lotor started running his hands through Keith's hair, putting in shampoo. He felt water from the shower head on him as he started to feel clean. Lotor started putting in conditioner, it smelled nice. Then conditioner, it felt good. Keith didn't remember the last time he felt this clean and calm. He then started scrubbing his shoulders, his back. He found himself instinctively leaning into the gentle touch, a type of touch he found almost foreign at that point. 

"Do you want to clean your thighs, or you want me to do it?" Lotor asked, and Keith held his hand out, wanting to do it himself. Lotor, without question, handed him the sponge and Keith scrubbed off. He then felt the body behind him come closer, rubbing up behind him. 

"You know I'm sorry. It won't happen again," Lotor said, placing his head on Keith's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist. Keith leaned into the touch. He didn't know why, but he felt safe. He felt safe when Lotor's arms were around him and he was being embraced by someone that showed they cared about him, even if it could just all be a lie. 

"What do you want to wear to bed?" Lotor asked as he spoke awfully close to his ear, Keith shivered, feeling a weird rush, down there. 

"I-I, dont-," Keith said before he felt sucking on his neck. "E-emperor-," Keith whimpered as he tried to move away.

_I knew it, it was too good to be true._

Lotor persisted though and Keith squirmed. 

"C-can we go to bed?" Keith asked and Lotor's lips were off of his neck in an instant. 

"Sorry, it's just you are hard to resist darling," Lotor said, pulling away from him, noticing how Keith didn't look convinced. "It's no excuse though, won't happen again," Lotor said and Keith just nodded. 

"You can get out, pick a towel, pick out something from the closet, anything you want. I have to wash up," Lotor said as he turned off the water. Keith nodded as he sat on the edge of the tub, he grabbed a towel which was on a shelve right next to the tub. He wrapped it around himself and sat back down. 

"H-how do I get over there?" Keith asked. 

"Ah I forgot, I'll take you," Lotor said as he stood up. Keith blushed as he stood up, turning away to give him some type of privacy. He was used to being naked, it didn’t bother him, but he never saw anyone as beautiful as Lotor. Someone so graceful and gentle to the point where it radiated from his being.

"Can you press that button right there?"  Keith did and suddenly he realized that meant that maids were going to come. His eyes grew wide. 

"No, no, I won't let anything happen alright? They just need to clean the bed and the toilet. Hey listen," Lotor gently said as he grabbed a towel and dried his hair. He wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out.

 "Listen, no one is going to hurt you anymore. I will make sure of that. As long as I am here, you are safe," Lotor said, grasping his smaller hands in his, consoling him. He grabbed one of Keith's hands and placed it on his right hip, playing with the edge of the towel, where he had put it around himself. He rubbed his hand for a few beats before Keith nodded.

"Come on, let's go," Lotor said, grabbing Keith bridal style, like always. 

Lotor brought him around, placed him on the couch facing the bed and opened the closet. Keith saw the different outfits. They consisted of shirts, dresses, tunics, skirts, and gowns. Keith looked at them and then pointed to a gown. Lotor nodded and brought it over. It had thin straps, and it was around knee length. 

"Can I-," Keith answered the question, taking off the towel himself and looking away as Lotor chuckled. 

"Read my mind," Lotor said as he pulled the gown over Keith's head. He then helped him slip it completely on. 

"I'm going to go get dressed okay?" Lotor said as he went back into the bathroom, to his closet. There was a sound, the door sliding a few minutes after he left. Keith's heart started pounding. 

"Lotor!" Keith yelled as his eyes met with the maids. Galra, again. Both were female, but it didn't make it less terrifying. 

"Lotor! Lotor!" Keith yelled and the women looked terrified of him. They stepped forward trying to be comforting, but Keith just screamed. 

"Hey, darling, what's wrong?" Lotor asked in panic as he rushed to where he had left Keith. "Oh, just clean up,"

Keith immediately went to hug Lotor and didn't let go of him the whole time, he fell asleep waiting on Lotor's chest. 

Lotor chuckled when Keith didn't perk up when they left. He carried him to the bed, tucked him in and got in next to him. It only took a few minutes of running his hands through Keith’s hair for him to fall asleep soundly.

"After all this time, I finally have you, my darling," Lotor chuckled as he gave Keith a quick peck on the top of his head and spooned him as they both fell asleep. 


	3. I Threw 'No' Out the Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I am being honest, this was supposed to be a one-shot. But I am terrible at one shots and canot keep everything so concise, so now we are at most than 8000 words and I am very disaapointed in myself XD. Just going to leave this here...  
> I'm a comment addict (like the next person) and I really love hearing anything you have to say, so type away, I don't care what it is. 
> 
> Anyways, Happy Fourth?? Sixth... Seventh...whoops (I forgot to celebrate?)

They continued like that for a while, only making Keith's brain more mush than it was before. Being with Lotor meant him feel safe, and he started confusing the feeling of stability with love. Lotor was nice though, he showed he cared in the strangest ways. Keith even started making excuses for his behavior at times, rarely making the effort to catch himself anymore when it happened. 

For now it had been a little over a human week and Lotor had brought in people to help Keith get back on his legs. There was this weird pain when he would move, he just felt so weak and hungry, but he was being fed, more than enough. He didn't know what was wrong with him, just this weird hunger that he couldn't satisfy and it was starting to eat at him. 

He braced himself on one of the servant's shoulders as he started walking, he hissed at the pain and could feel his body shake from the weakness he had from his 'unknwon' hunger. 

"I can't. I can't do no more," Keith panted as he hit the servant's waist in protest, shaking his head, telling him he needed to keep going to get better. 

"I can't, please s-stop it," Keith said, as he took another step. He looked at the couch where Lotor was seated, waiting for him to wobble over to him. He looked in his eyes and tried to get him them to stop. 

"I know, darling. I know it's hard, but it's for your own good, come on you can do it," Lotor said, reaching his arms out and Keith kept shaking his head in protest, continuing to hit at the people, begging them to stop. 

"I-I can't, I-ah," Keith stuttered out as he took two more steps. 

"Hey, look at me beautiful," Lotor said calmly. Keith looked at his eyes, hot tears forming on his own. He grasped tightly onto the two servants holding him, trying to get weight off his legs. 

"You can do it. It's been long enough. I believe in you," Lotor said as he reached his hands out further, the servants placing Keith's trembling hands in Lotor's, making Keith unsteady and whimper in protest. 

"I-I'm going to f-fall," Keith cried out as the servants started letting his body go. 

"Look at me, darling," Lotor said and Keith did, he looked into his eyes and stopped crying. 

"Walk to me, it's only three steps, just three," he continued and Keith held his breath and took the first step, wincing, but somehow it was easier than when he was held up by two servants. 

"Two more, and then we can eat," Lotor said and Keith nodded, this time agreeing and he squeezed his eyes shut, moving to take the next step, clenching onto Lotor's wrists. 

"There you go," Lotor said as Keith took the third step and immediately collapsed into Lotor's lap, the Emperor out of his usual armor, and more casually formal clothes. 

Lotor hummed into his ear, adjusting the shirt and waistband of the skirt he was wearing back on top of the 'Vuja', the fabric that was wrapped around him abdomen; that's what Lotor called it. He waved off the servants calmly and adjusted the messy ponytail that Keith was wearing. 

His hair was longer now, reaching just under his collarbone, growing faster than it would naturally grow. Lotor had told him it was the shampoo he used, to make him beautiful. Keith's normal fight mode would have hated that;refused to being called such a thing and refused to being treated like something to be fixed. But Keith now, just wanted to give his 'safe person' what he wanted, and his 'safe person' was Lotor. 

"Want to go eat?" Lotor asked Keith, who was lightly panting as he leaned the side of his body into Lotor's chest. 

"Nothing I eat makes the hunger go away," Keith said quietly as he looked down to his lap, which was covered by the skirt he was wearing, it reached down to mid-calf. Keith liked how he was always dressed in long things, it made him comfortable, gave him security. He wished he got to wear pants, but Lotor never gave it to him as an option, and he just never questioned it. 

He never got underwear though, Lotor said it was because he was still healing, but Keith didn't think he needed more healing, the bandages had come off anyways; that meant he was fine now. 

Either way he felt Lotor start to get up, bringing Keith up with him. Keith groaned in protest as he was forced to stand back up. Lotor stood behind him, setting his arms like armchair, for Keith to hold onto, pushing him forward with his body as he himself stepped. 

"Let's go redo your hair and clean your face?" Lotor asked, but they were already. 

Keith complained the whole way, not wanting to have to walk at all. 

Lotor let go of him, and Keith was forced to hold himself up by holding onto the bathroom counter, Lotor having put a thin bar of metal for Keith to hold onto. As Keith caught his breath, Lotor let his ponytail loose started wetting a cloth. Keith looked up, seeing himself. He winced as he saw how different he was. 

He never did look very masculine, but now he couldn't even pass as a man. His hair was past a passable excuse of a mullet, his torso had a black shirt that could be called a crop top that had normal sleeves, but revealed the 'figure trainer' he was wearing underneath as well as the waistband of his long red skirt. His torso was also starting to become mroe curved, his waist more prominent than before, feminine. The more he looked at himself, the more confused he became. 

_This isn't you._

He was stopped in his observation as Lotor spoke up, starting to comb through his black hair. 

"You look beautiful," he commented as he brushed Keith bangs onto his face, unpinning them, brushing them off to the side. He started pulling the rest of his hair into a ponytail, making him look more composed. He then brought his hands from behind Keith and wiped his face off with the damp cloth, wiping away his previous tears and sweat. 

"There," Lotor said, as Keith looked down at his feet, he didn't want to look at himself, not anymore. 

They went to eat afterwards. Sometime they would eat in the room, servants coming and giving Keith glares, murmuring about how he was 'spoiled' and had 'caused someone's death by seducing them and then placing blame'. It made Keith think that maybe he had seduced the Galra at the pleasure house too. He remembered thinking,

_What if it was all just my fault? No one just ends up in a pleasure house except me, it has to be something I did._

His rational side kicked in and dismissed it, but now it just lingered in his mind. He slowly started believing it as he heard more murmurs. 

This time though they ate alone, in the room. Lotor had food brought in and had them leave before Keith got settled. Lotor talked a lot while they ate. Keith got used to listening. Lotor asked him to talk something, but he didn't know what about. 

He didn't have much to say, all he could remember was the pleasure house, nothing before that. So he stayed silent, a lot. 

"I'm still so hungry," Keith mumbled as he finished his food, the weird hunger still not going away. Lotor looked at him and picked up their plates and washed them. 

"What do you mean?" Lotor asked, a smirk on his face as he washed the plates, turned away from Keith. 

Keith shifted and was about to speak until he felt a jab at his stomach, making him collapse from his chair. 

"Darling! What's wrong?" Lotor asked and Keith suddenly felt hot, very hot. He started breathing really hard and he rolled onto his side, curling in on himself, his skirt becoming a tangled mess with his legs. 

"It hurts, oh god it hurts so much," Keith said as he clenched his teeth. Lotor came to the floor and touched his shoulder, immediately Keith stopped being tense and the pain diminished. Noticing Keith's reaction, Lotor pulled away, shocked at first, thinking he hurt him. 

"No, no please don't let me go," Keith begged as the pain returned as Lotor pulled away. Lotor nodded and placed his hand back on Keith's shoulder. The pain went away a little, but not enough and Keith started tensing up again. 

"I think you need rest," Lotor said as he picked Keith up and rushed him to the bed. It relieved some of his pain, but it soon came back after a while. 

"I can't breathe, everything is too much. I-I-I need to breathe, oh god I need to-ah," Keith wrenched out as he felt more pain, Lotor jumping into actions and deactivating the figure trainer. Keith started breathing steadily as it was removed, panting hard as he clenched onto his abdomen. Everything hurt, but it hurt more there. 

"Hey sweetheart, tell me where it hurts, what do you need?" Lotor asked and Keith just cried out in pain. He sat up and threw his shirt off, his skin was red and hot, he was sweating a lot. 

"Hold me, just hold me," Keith said as he  reached for Lotor, burying his head into his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist. It helped the pain, he didn't know why, but touching him helped. Like before though, the pain came back. 

"Do you want skin-to-skin contact?" Lotor asked and Keith didn't even question it, nodding and clawing at the clothes, pulling them off himself. 

As he took off Lotor's chest, he didn't even pay mind to the fact that they were both half naked, he just pressed himself onto his bare chest, breathing, panting. 

_I need more. It hurts too much._

Lotor then held the shivering boy as he was in pain and pressed a kiss onto his head, Keith suddenly stopped. 

_Oh god that felt better. Kissing him made it go away. I need to kiss him-_

And that's all he thought about before pulling away and grabbing Lotor hungrily and pressing their lips together. He lost control after that, sliding his tongue in and letting his hands wander down. 

_I need more. Moremoremoremore._

Suddenly Lotor pulled away. 

"Darling, are you sure about this? I d-," was all Lotor got to say before Keith pounded back into the kiss, vigoursly, some weird drive instinct in him pushing through. He was hungry, and he started to know what he was 'hungry' for. 

"More, I need more," Keith panted as he palmed as Lotor pants, quickly sliding his hand in and letting Lotor's dick out. 

"You are so beautiful when you want sex," Lotor said and Keith wasn't even paying attention. He continued kissing and he slipped out of his skirt, ignoring the pain at his thighs as he made the effort to push Lotor down on the bed, so his back was on the covers. 

Keith then positioned himself on top of Lotor and gasped as he froze, his rational side coming out as he felt it slide in. 

_Shit what am I doing? I don't want this, why am I doing this? Keith, you idiot, stop-_

He kept going though and used Lotor's shoulders for support, feeling the pain completely slip away and pleasure start feeling his up immediately. 

"Fuck," Keith said as he pumped himself on it. 

_I still need more._

He panted as he kept his pace, he didn't even look at Lotor, not even really realizing that he was having sex, more just needing to stop the hunger completely. He then felt the dick inside his new hole tense and he stopped and sat upright, pausing, the dick still in him. 

"Do you want to stop?" Lotor asked, and Keith looked up. 

_Oh god, I'm having sex with Lotor, what am I doing? I don't want sex with him._

Keith then looked down, he saw where they were connected and he sighed. He still felt hungry and he nodded and leaned down to kiss Lotor before continuing. 

He went on until Lotor came, and suddenly he felt the hunger diminish. He thought that was it, but it wasn't, he needed more of it. His hole clenched around Lotor, almost milking it as he needed more. Lotor moaned underneath from the feeling, his dick growing hard again. 

Keith did that until Lotor came four more times. He was full now. 

_The hunger is gone, it's over._

He took a deep breath and he collapsed on Lotor's chest, still filled up with him. 

"Does it hurt?" Lotor asked and Keith hummed 'no'. 

"Then what's wrong?" Lotor asked and Keith thought about it. 

_The problem is I liked that, I liked that a lot. But not because I like you, because I needed it._

"Just tired," Keith said and Lotor hummed in response, running his hands through his hair, letting it free from the ponytail. He rubbed circles on his back, until Keith calmed down, breathing normally. He started pulling out and Keith whined. 

_I don't want to be empty. Oh god, I'm a whore._

"Can-c-can we stay like this?" Keith asked, his face turning red on top of Lotor's chest, he was glad his hair was covering it. 

"Like me holding you," Lotor asked, almost teasing him. 

"Can y-you stay i-inside me?" Keith asked and Lotor chuckled. 

"Of course, darling, anything you want," Lotor said, lifting Keith's chin and placing a gentle kiss on Keith's lips. Keith faked a smile and returned to nestle his head on Lotor's chest, having the covers they pushed over to one side, come over them. 

_I'm not sure I want this, but I feel like I need it._

Keith pondered the thought more and started hearing Lotor doze off to sleep, his breathing steady into long, deep breaths. 

_I'm such a whore. I'm a slut, a goddamn slut who needs sex. What is happening to me? Did someone drug me? Oh god, I'm such a whore!_

Keith kept telling himself and quietly cried himself to sleep, trying his best not to wake Lotor.

* * *

Keith awoke the next day and Lotor wasn't with him, he wasn't  _in_ him. Keith shuffled under the sheets and groaned at the slick feeling on his thighs, he pulled off the covers and saw white liquid pooling under him, it was too thin to be cum, he knew that at least.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling as he brought his fingers to open himself, down there. He gasped as he inspected himself. 

_Why are there so many layers to this thing. Vaginas are weird. Oh god, I have a vagina._

He whimpered as he brought himself to look down. He never took the time to see what Gia had done to him. As he pulled apart at his folds he heard a voice, and he immediately turned red. 

"Fascinated with our pussy, are we?" He looked up, it was Gia. 

"N-no, I-was just-I-I,-," Keith stuttered as he closed his legs, aiming to pull up the covers next. 

"Nothing to be shy about. It is one of my great inventions, let me see," Gia said, going onto the edge of the bed and pulling Keith's legs apart. Keith tried to kick at her, but then he felt a press to his inner thigh and he turned lax, turning compliant, listening and opening his legs up more.

_Why am I not stopping her. Oh god, Keith punch her or something, why are you letting her do this?_

Keith looked at her wide-eyed as he couldn't do anything, his muscles not listening to him. 

"It's just a feature, get over it," Gia said as if it was nothing. "There had to be someway to make you listen to people."

Keith glared at her as he opened up his lips, pulling out a cloth and cleaning him out. 

"You sure had fun yesterday," Gia chuckled and Keith couldn't take it anymore. 

"Why the fuck are you here, and why are you touching me, who the shit let you in here?" Keith hissed as the words escaped him, before he felt a press to the same spot on his inner thigh and he stopped trying to talk. 

"Nice to see you too," Gia said as she continued to clean him out. "The Emperor called me, said you acted strange last night, that you might be sick, but I just think you weren't feeding yourself right," she said, getting the last of whatever the liquid inside of him was. 

"W-what do you mean?" Keith asked as he continued to wince at her touch. 

"You are a whore now, that's what I mean," Gia said, laughing a bit, as she pressed some kind of wet wipe to clean him. "You need a partner's sperm to survive, without it you go hungry, you know and die," Gia said as she continued, Keith's eyes got wide again. Gia noticed Keith's face and shrugged. 

"I thought it would be funny, you know. It wasn't an easy task, but your body recognizes the coding of the Emperor's 'release' and you are fed. Easy as that," Gia explained, making Keith turn pale. 

_I need sex to live now. That's-oh god I'm going to throw up._

"Don't throw up, I have to check everything is okay."

_Like shit you will._

Keith tried to fight back, he really did, but his body just wouldn't let him. 

_I'm helpless, I actually can't do anything right now. Oh god, what if I'm pregnant, can I even be pregnant?_

"W-wil I be p-pregnant?" Keith stuttered out as he frantically tried to anticipate the answer. 

"As much as I know you want it, no, you aren't fertile," Gia answered. "Yet," she chuckled as she patted his thigh. She then pushed his legs up, prodding at him like an object. 

"Hm, well you are okay. Nothing has gone wrong, I think you are fully functional woman who just needs a little more sex in your life," Gia said and Keith felt his control return back to normal. He got up and immediately started yelling at her. 

Correction. he wanted to start yelling at her, but he just couldn't, something in him couldn't. He didn't know why.

_They broke me, that's why._

"How long are you staying?" Keith asked and Gia sighed. 

"Not long, I have to come check on you like once a human month to make sure you aren't 'dying' or anything. It's really bothersome, you know, but anything for my favorite patient," Gia said and Keith glared at her. 

"What was-the thing. The thing in me, what-," Keith got the guts to ask. 

"Oh the pool of liquids your vagina was expelling?" Gia asked and Keith nodded, his face turning red again, he covered himself more with the sheets. 

_I hate the word vagina. It's officially my new most hated word._

"It's your 'pleasure liquid'. You pour it out after you 'do the dirty' with the person you are tied to," Gia said and Keith looked at her, not sure if he wanted to know what she meant by that, to be honest he didn't quite catch anything after 'pleasure liquid'.

"Well, nice meeting, hopefully I will see you under better conditions. And I know we are close, but at least put some clothes on next time," Gia said and Keith glared at her, pulling the sheets up to his collarbone. 

He sighed as he let the sheets go. He scooted away from the 'pleasure liquid' and went to try to stand up. Surprisingly, he did it without much of an effort.

_I might start having sex more often if it means I can walk. Shit, no don't think that-shut up-oh my god Keith you are actually stupid-_

"I-I am here to clean you," he heard a voice at the door say. Keith didn't even look at the face and immediately went to try to cover himself up. 

"I-I am okay. I-I can do it myself," Keith stuttered as he stood up, blanket messily covering his body. 

"The Emperor will kill me if I don't do what I was ordered to do," the servant said, Keith finally looked up. He expected to see Galra eyes, but instead he saw white ones, with colored pupils. The prisoner was a little on the heavier side, he was bulkier, his skin was tan. 

_He looks familiar. Why does he look familiar?_

"U-um mam, can I-," the servant said. Keith froze. 

_He just called me mam._

"I-I'm sure that the Emperor won't mind. I-I just don't really want to be touched. I-," Keith said as the doors slid open. Lotor walked in. 

"Why isn't my darling washed?" Lotor asked. 

"Lotor-," Keith began to say and Lotor wouldn't listen. 

"She- she said that she didn't need help," the servant said. 

_He called me a she._

"Darling-," Lotor began to say and then noticed that Keith was standing. "You-you can walk?" Lotor asked and rushed over to him, hugging him and Keith nodded. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and Keith just let himself be loved. 

"Sorry, it's okay, you may return to your other duties," Lotor said and let go of Keith. 

"And you feel alright, nothing hurts?" Lotor asked. Keith nodded and held the blanket in his hands. 

"Do you want a bath? To be washed?" Lotor asked and Keith declined. 

"Gia-Gia already, u-um she already cleaned m-me," Keith said as his face turned red. Lotor smiled as he rubbed circles on Keith's back. Keith leaned into the touch until he felt it lower. 

"Lotor, what are you-ah," Keith gasped as he felt a finger enter him. "Lotor, I-I'm tired. I-oh god," Keith gasped again as Lotor ignored him, bringing another finger in, easily, scissoring them through. 

"Ah, Lotor, I-I-I. N-not right no-oh holy-whydoesthatfeelsogood?" Keith rapidly cursed as he hooked his arms around Lotor's neck. Lotor started placing kisses on his neck, letting his free hands wander Keith's body. 

"Lotor, I-I don't want t-ah," Keith gasped as he was thrown onto the bed, his stomach collapsing onto the edge, Lotor standing right in front of the bathroom doorway. Keith winced as he got fingered, his body making more of that stupid 'pleasure liquid'. 

"Oh sweetheart, you are so wet," Lotor said as he took his fingers out, Keith could feel himself twitch, his hole whining at being empty. 

_Oh god, this is wrong, but it doesn't feel like it. I want it. Yeah I do, I-IwantitIwantitIwantit. Just believe it Keith, let it happen._

Keith then felt the tip of something big enter him, his body welcoming it. 

"Lotor, I-," Keith spoke, weakly, his hands balling into fists as they clenched the sheets. 

_Tell him to stop. You don't want this._

"Yes, beautiful?" Lotor asked, stopping.

"U-um, just can we take a bath after this?" Keith asked and Lotor said yes, continuing to fuck him. 

_But he wants this, and I want to make him happy, I have to._

 


	4. A Blind Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets to go outside.

"You can go outside now," Lotor said and Keith perked up. He was getting something to drink from the fridge. His hair was in a braid that Lotor had done, he was wearing his night-gown, the dark red one with short sleeves. 

"What do you mean?" Keith asked as he went over to where Lotor was, he was drying off his hair, looking at himself in the mirror. 

"You can walk now, and I think you can go outside the room," Lotor responded as he brushed his hair. 

"Go outside? Like anywhere I want?" Keith asked as he opened the bottle of water he had in his hand, sitting on his side of the bed, looking at Lotor through the doorway. 

"Anywhere you want, darling," Lotor responded. 

"But, the guards. Will they-can they-," Keith began to ask as he took a sip of the water. 

"What do you mean?" Lotor asked, going into his closet to pick out some clothes. 

"Never mind," Keith said as he set the water down on the side of the bed and went to go brush his teeth. Lotor came out of his closet soon after and he wrapped his arms around Keith's torso, letting his chin rest on Keith's shoulder. 

It had been two weeks since he had started to walk. Keith had explained what Gia had told him about needing his 'release' to survive. Lotor had consoled him when he started crying, saying he was disgusting. Lotor said that he wasn't. Keith held onto that every time they had sex. He had to have it at least every three days or he started feeling like he was dying. He hated it, it made him feel helpless. 

"Hunk will help you getting around the place. I know how much safer you feel with him," Lotor said and Keith nodded. Hunk was the servant that came in now. He first met him right after Gia had come and given him his first 'monthly check'. He was never alone with him though, Lotor always in the room when he was here, only letting Keith know his name. 

He felt safe around him though, he liked the way he didn't look Galra and the way that he was always gentle and kind. 

"Will you be here when I wake up?" Keith asked as he finished brushing his teeth, Lotor pressing a kiss to his neck as he bent down to rinse his mouth. 

"No, I have to get up early and run some battle plans with my generals," Lotor said as he pressed another kiss on Keith's ear. 

"Are you hungry, dear?" Lotor asked, Keith knowing what he was asking and he froze. 

_I don't want to have sex right now. I already showered today._

Keith shook his head from side to side, awaiting an answer. He expected Lotor to continue anyways, but he didn't. He had listened to Keith for at least a week not, not doing anything he didn't want.

"Can I just have a kiss then?" Lotor asked and Keith responded by tilting his head to look up behind him, giving Lotor a kiss. He was let go of and he headed towards the bed, he got in and got under the covers. 

"Are you excited for tomorrow?" Lotor asked, and Keith turned over to face Lotor, who had gotten in next to him. 

"I'm a little scared," Keith responded as Lotor placed a hand on his hip, rubbing over it through the gown he was wearing, it was long, like all his other ones. 

"I'm sure you will like it. There's a lot to see near the palace. The planet is very nice. All the main events and things happen around here," Lotor consoled, rubbing his hand up to Keith's waist, feeling the new curves of Keith's body. 

"Like what?" Keith asked, trying to not say anything as he felt the dip of Lotor's hand as it ran over his waist. 

_It's so prominent now._

"The Arena is near by. The technology is made in the tech building, as well as all the science the Empire uses," Lotor explained, pulling Keith in closer. 

"And Hunk will be there with me?" Keith asked as he tucked his head under Lotor's chin. Lotor hummed in confirmation as he rubbed Keith's back. 

"Do you remember Hunk, darling?" Lotor asked and Keith thought about it. 

_Am I supposed to? Did I already know him?_

"What do you mean?" Keith asked.

"Oh, nothing, I was just making sure we are talking about the same person," Lotor said as he kissed the top of Keith's head.

"Oh," Keith said. 

"Goodnight, beautiful," Lotor said and Keith hummed in response, dozing off the sleep. 

* * *

 

The next day was hectic. He woke up to someone pulling him out of bed. 

"I don't want to get up," he groaned as the covers were thrown off of him. 

"Come on, you have to get dressed," he heard a voice say, his eyes adjusting to the light in the room. 

_Oh, I get to go outside today._

He immediately rose up, seeing Hunk with clothes in his hands. 

"Oh," Keith said as he rubbed his eyes, he started stripping off his gown as if it were nothing. He always changed in front of Hunk at this point, both of them getting past the awkward feeling after the first few times two weeks ago. 

"Stand up," Hunk instructed as he picked up the 'Vuja'. Keith held his arms up as it was wrapped around him, and set them down as it was clasped shut. Hunk clicked some buttons and it tightened up, Keith winced as he felt his abdomen constrict. 

_This is always the worst part._

"So," Hunk sighed, trying to break the tense moment as he put the shirt over Keith's head. It was a dark red crop top with spaghetti straps. Keith didn't like how it showed off his collarbone or shoulders.

"What-wait. Are-are those mine?" Keith asked as Hunk pulled out some underwear. It was lacy and black and Keith looked at it in shock. 

Hunk nodded and held it out for Keith to step into. 

"What is this?" Keith asked as it slipped on. 

"Um, underwear," Hunk said as he went to go grab the skirt.

"And I can wear it all day?" Keith asked. 

"Yes?" Hunk asked and Keith smiled as he stepped into the long black skirt Hunk was holding. Hunk then brought out a brush and re-braided Keith's hair into a side braid. His hair was down to half of his back by now. Lotor had said that it didn't need to grow anymore and he could cut it two days from now. 

"Here," Hunk said as he placed some shoes in front of Keith. They were heeled, not too much, but at least two inches. Keith frowned as he saw them, but slipped into the black heels. He was still shorter than Hunk by at least an inch, but it still felt weird. 

"Do you want to go eat first?" Hunk asked and Keith nodded as they exited the room. 

_I'm outside._

He followed Hunk, going past two hallways and arriving at a large room with lots of tables. 

"All the generals, guards, and important people eat here," Hunk said and Keith nodded. Hunk told him to pick a table and he would go and get his food for his. Keith nodded again and went to sit somewhere, he slipped off his heels slightly, they hurt his feet. 

"So you are the Emperor's pet?" A voice said behind him as he felt a large hand on his shoulder. He turned back and leaned away from the touch. The stranger sat next to Keith, who just looked at the person. It was a female guard. He looked into her eyes and whimpered as he felt her hand on his lower back. He knew he couldn't do anythign to stop her, since she was of higher authority, but he hoped she would take pity on him. 

"Please," Keith begged as her hand slipped into his underwear. 

"I heard you were modified," she said and Keith shuddered as she pressed a finger into his vagina. "How so?"

Keith didn't respond and instead hoped Hunk would finish faster. As she pressed in more he started feeling very hot and that excruciating burning and stabbing feeling came on, but this time it wasn't in his abdomen it was right where her finger was in. 

"So the Emperor is possessive," she chuckled as he dug her finger in harshly. 

"I brought your food," Keith heard a stern voice say, the hand coming off of him, making him calmer. 

"Should watch him, well _her_ , more closely," the female guard said as she stood up, placing a peck on Keith's cheek, burning. 

_She called me a him._

He sighed as recovered himself, bringing himself to look at Hunk's eyes. He had set the tray down, and looked a little horrified at what he saw. 

"Does-does that always happen?" Hunk asked and Keith winced at the question, still slightly panting from the pain. 

"I can't stop anyone with higher authority from doing anything to me. My body won't let me," Keith said, indifferently as he picked at his food.

"She called you a _him_ ," Hunk said. 

"She made a mistake," Keith responded. "She corrected herself," he added as he stuffed his face with the food. 

"Do you want some?" Keith asked Hunk as he held up the eating utensil to him. 

"No, I already had my sha-," Hunk explained and Keith shoved the food in his mouth. "What- ohogdthat'sgood," Hunk said and Keith smiled. 

"How long have you been a servant?" Keith asked as he gave the piece of bread to Hunk, who refused to take it, but then gave in. 

"You don't have to ask. I am here to help you," Hunk said. 

"I asked you a question," Keith said as he ate more of his food. Hunk sighed. 

"Well I first became one when the Labor Intensive Sector shut down. After Lotor became Emperor, it was shut down because he found a new way to harvest quintessence without having to have labor to do it," Hunk explained, all of it just passing right over Keith's head. 

"Um-well, what about before," Keith asked, trying to act as if he knew what he was saying. 

"Well I was captured along with four other Voltron paladins, or ex-paladins-friends. I was captured with four of my other friends," Hunk said and Keith nodded. 

"What's Voltron,"Keith asked. 

_That sounds familiar._

"Well it was a big robot that wanted to defeat Emperor Zarkon cause there was this huge war and-," Hunk explained, but saw how uninterested Keith became. "It was this huge robot that defended people."

"What happened to it?" Keith asked, finishing up his food. 

"Well, I heard that the other two that didn't get captured found new paladins and they are fighting with the coalition and what Lotor wants to do," Hunk said, and Keith looked at him.

_Why would they fight Lotor?_

"It's this big thing that I think you should ask him about yourself," Hunk said, realizing he had said too much. 

"Anyways, what about you?" Hunk asked. "You don't look Galra. I know there are other humans now in space, so did you come here, or were you bred or something?" Hunk said. 

"Humans?" Keith asked. Gia always used the term, but he never truly understood what she meant by it. 

"Where do you want to go?" Hunk asked, ignoring his question. He was starting to fear he had told Keith too much, and he didn't want to get in trouble for it. 

"What's the Arena like?" Keith asked. 

"You won't like it. It's-," Hunk began to say before someone approached them from behind. 

"It's entertaining. I'm sure you would love it," a Galra general said as he rubbed Keith's bare shoulders with his large hands. 

Keith didn't even flinch at this point. 

"Sorry, my name is Throk, what's yours, darling?" 'Throk' said. Keith didn't answer. 

 _I am so tired of random people touching me._ So many generals had come to dine with Lotor at the room since Keith didn't want to be left alone. They all groped him when Lotor turned around, or went to get something. Keith didn't want to complain, he knew Lotor would kill them, and he was tired of seeing people die in front of him,  _because_ of him.

"Not talkative, I see. Well, it would be my honor to have the Emperor's valued partner attend a game with me. Is that alright?" Throk asked Hunk, not even addressing Keith. 

"I have been ordered to stay with him," Hunk stood his ground, standing up. 

"Well you can come of course," Throk said. Keith just looked at Hunk as Throk continued to stroke his shoulders, creeping up to his jaw. 

Hunk nodded as Throk helped Keith up, wrapping an arm around Keith's waist as they walked. It was a rather long way. They walked outside and then into a building where multiple people were shouting. 

"Kill him! Go Champion!" Keith heard people yelling as he was pushed forward by Throk, Hunk trailing behind. Throk picked a place that was surrounded by multiple other generals. Keith's eyes were wide as they all eyed him. 

_Shit._

"The Emperor wouldn't approve of this," Hunk said as he saw the way they were all look at Keith, Throk plopping down, making Keith sit on his lap. 

"I see you are loyal to your orders, but this beauty hasn't been seen by anyone since they left the pleasure house. Everyone really misses what he feels like," Keith flinched at the pronoun. 

_They know who I am._

He started looking around and recognized the faces. They were all generals that had went and paid for him at the pleasure house. He started shaking as Throk started lovingly rubbing his waist. 

"The pleasure house?" Hunk asked, his voice quivering. 

"Don't worry, I'm sure we won't do harm," Throk said as he slid Keith off his lap and handed his over to his left, farther away from Hunk. Keith couldn't breathe. He was starting to panic. 

"Let her go. I am instructed not to leave her side," Hunk said and the generals looked a bit in curiosity at one another. 

"I'm sure you wouldn't want anything to happen to your friend right. I'm sure she is doing well helping engineer new technology, but anyone is replaceable," Throk threatened. 

"You wouldn't," Hunk said and Throk smirked. 

"Don't test me," Throk said and Hunk looked at Keith. He was shivering and he had his hands in his lap. Hunk could hear him whimper as the guard who he was given to rubbed his thigh. 

"Now, you are going to go get some food all the way from the top building on the Arena, then you are going to take the slow and long way to bring it back to me, okay?" Throk said, pulling out his gun and placing it on Keith's temple. Keith trembled as he felt the cold metal at his head, not even registering what was going on. Hunk nodded after that and took off, wanting to get back to Keith as fast as possible. 

"He kept calling him a she," Throk scoffed. "Pull down the skirt." The guard did, and the laced underwear was revealed, they pulled that down too and they all chuckled as Throk and a general to Keith's side pulled his legs apart. 

Keith started crying and the guard whose lap he was on, covered his mouth. 

"Do you like it?" Another general asked as he went in front of  Keith's opened legs and inspected the new addition. Keith could feel streams of hot tears as the general kept opening him up, inspecting him like some type of object. 

"It's pretty," the general said as he slipped a finger in, making Keith scream. 

"He's sweating," Throk said. "Shit, he's tied to him." The generals all groaned in disappointment, but the general in front of him continued, making Keith scream, muffled by the Galra's hand that was behind him. The pain then went away as he felt something big at his folds. 

"P-please," Keith tried to reason behind the hand that was over his mouth. It didn't do anything as the general entered him. It got the attention of all the other generals around. It was filled with them, being the section for generals to watch fights. 

"Is that the Emperor's?" He heard one ask as he felt a prodding at his ass. He kept shaking his head from side to side before he felt sucking at his shoulder, and then another mouth on his cheek, then hands at his collarbone. 

_There's too many here. Too many touches. I don't even know what's going on._

He then felt something big enter his other entrance and his mouth be uncovered. He was about to let out a scream, but his head was pulled back and he felt fingers in his mouth. He wanted to bite down on them, but he couldn't, just like always, he couldn't. 

"Are you sure this is him? There's no fight in him," he heard a general ask, he didn't know from where. 

"Ha, it's a  _she_ now," someone responded as someone slapped his vagina. 

His legs were pulled farther apart and he felt multiple pairs of hands stroke his inner thighs, fingers try to enter him while he was already full. 

"i heard he took three at the same time," he heard one say. 

"I thought it was four," another one replied. 

"No it was five."

"So wet."

"Can't we take this Vuja off of him?"

"it's locked."

"It's a  _her_."

"Right?" Keith finally realized who was speaking as he felt a second, or was it the third, he didn't know, but something entered somewhere. 

_There are so many hands on me. There are too many in me. Everything hurts. Wasn't Hunk supposed to come back?_

Suddenly everything stopped and all the generals started cheering. 

"Go Champion! Beat him up!" They cheered. 

"Do you think the Champion remembers him-her?" One asked. 

"I mean she's honestly so different. The only reason I did, is cause of the scent. Something you never forget."

"H-h-here's your food, now let h-h-her g-g-go," Hunk panted as he held up the food and gasped for air. He had run all the way down the countless stairs as fast as he could. 

"I guess time's up boys," Throk grunted, all the generals complaining, pulling away from Keith. Keith panted as he struggled to focus on anything. He felt arms help him up, his heels gone, and his skirt adjusted. 

"Mam, mam, can you hear me?" Keith heard a voice say and he finally fell back into reality. He groaned as he jolted up, sitting up straight. 

"Hunk?" Keith asked as he realized he wasn't there anymore. He was still in the Arena though, just not in the general's box. 

"Yes, it's me. It's me, I'm here. I'm so sorry I left you. They just-they threatened and I-I couldn't. I shouldn't have left. I-I-," Hunk stuttered and Keith just rolled his eyed, groaning in pain. 

"Just calm the shit down, it happened, get over it," Keith groaned as he leaned back. Hunk stopped and chuckled. 

"You remind me of someone, one of my friends," Hunk said and Keith sat up, and looked ahead. 

"Are they a whore as well?" Keith asked and Hunk turned pale. "Were they sent to the pleasure house? Broken until they need to live off sex?"

"Mam? Are you alright?" Hunk asked. 

"Stop calling me that," Keith said. 

"I'm sorry, I just don't know your name still," Hunk said quietly. Keith thought about telling him. 

_Why does it matter?_

"My name doesn't matter, just don't call me a girl, please," Keith said, but it sounded like pleading. They stayed silent until Hunk spoke up.

"My friend, they had the worst temper. He never gave up, and he wanted to do what was best for the people around them, even if it meant leaving them," Hunk then said. "They had-have the same hair as you, black as the night. Their eyes are strong, yours are more gentle."

"Mine are tired and broken," Keith responded, tired of hearing of this stupid person. His body hurt and he wanted to see Lotor. 

"I don't know where they are. No one does, the rest of my friends all still talk to each-other, we all sleep in the prisoner quarters. But no one has heard of him," Hunk said and Keith looked up, noticed the pain in Hunk's eyes.

"Someone said that he had gone to-to the pleasure house," Hunk said and Keith tensed. 

"Do you think you might-might have heard of him? His-his name is Keith, and he's half-galran, he's been gone for six years and-," Hunk said and Keith looked at him with wide eyes. 

_Keith. Keith. Pleasure house. His friend. Temper. Strong eyes. Half-Galra._

"Can you stop fucking talking about your friend. I'm in a lot of pain, and I just want to go back and shower," Keith lashed out. Hunk looked hurt, but Keith just ignored it. 

"The doors won't open until the match ends, but we can go right after. I-I didn't mean to upset you-," Hunk said. 

"No one comes out of the pleasure house alive," Keith said. "If you aren't experimented on, you die of infection, and no one is allowed to take a pleasure slave outside of the house due to how infected they can get," Keith explained. 

"But you-you-," Hunk began to ask. 

"I was never meant to stay there," Keith said, realizing it himself. "I don't remember anything before the house. I barely remember the beginning except the last two months. But your friend is lucky to be dead than be alive in that hell hole," Keith sighed as he watched the fight. Hunk didn't answer and Keith looked ahead of him. 

"Who's that?" Keith asked as he saw a tan man with a Galra leg in the ring. He was sparring one with a tuff of white hair who bared a two Galra arms. 

"Those are my friends," Hunk sighed. 

"Are they going to kill each other?" Keith asked. 

"No, this is the last match, so it's just sparring," Hunk said. "The one with the blue leg is named 'Lance' and the other one is 'Shiro',"

Keith nodded as he watched them. It was like they were dancing. Even though they were fighting, they seemed so free. Keith smiled as he saw how Hunk looked at them. 

* * *

"Did you have fun today?" Lotor asked as he sat in the tub with Keith in between his legs. 

Keith didn't respond and instead reached for the shampoo. 

"Darling, I heard what happened," Lotor said and Keith froze. 

"I told them to stop. ireallydidandtheywouldn'tandIcouldntstopthem-," Keith rambled, Lotor cutting him off with a kiss. 

"I'm not mad," Lotor said. "Not at you anyway," Lotor said as he pulled away, he rubbed at Keith's shoulders. 

"It hurt. When other people touch me, it hurts a lot," Keith said as he rubbed the shampoo in his hair. Keith then felt a jab at his stomach and whined. 

_Dammit, I'm hungry. But I don't want to have to sleep after sex._

"Lotor?" Keith asked and Lotor hummed. "Can you feed me while we bathe?"

"A multitasker, now are we?" Lotor chuckled, and Keith just rolled his eyes. 

Lotor grumbled and Keith placed himself, still washing himself. 

"Sometimes I feel like an object to you," Lotor chuckled, rubbing circles on Keith's stomach. 

"Where was I before the pleasre house?" Keith suddenly asked, setting the shampoo bottle down, 

"What do you mean?" Lotor asked, moaning slightly as Keith milked him for 'food'.

"Like, before, was I on a planet? Did I get captured?" Keith asked. 

"You were a prisoner on another planet and Gia's medical team found you when they went to aid soldier's in battle. You were then sent there as a prisoner, but I became Emperor, and Gia told me about you, and I knew I had to get you out," Lotor explained. 

"Do you know my name? You never call me it," Keith said. 

"Darling, is this some type of interrogation?" Lotor asked, and Keith sighed, leaning his back onto Lotor's chest. 

"I just want to know who I am," Keith said as he laid his head on Lotor's shoulder. 

"Keith, it's Keith, your name," Lotor said. "You have been through so much and you are a strong and amazing person," Lotor said. 

"I'm a whore," Keith said. 

"You are anything but," Lotor said. 

"I need sex to literally live," Keith said, moving his hips to draw attention to how he was literally milking Lotor at the moment. 

"Listen to me, you are beautiful and you are not a whore. You are not a slut. Darling, what happened today is not your fault," Lotor said. 

"They all called me a girl. Am I a girl? A woman?" Keith asked. 

"You are whatever you want to be, no one can tell you otherwise," Loto said. 

"I don't know what I want to be," Keith said as Lotor finally came. He pulled out and Keith stayed on his chest. 

"Can you be mine until you figure it out?" Lotor asked as he held both of Keith's hands with his, in front of Keith's face. Keith nodded. 

"Tomorrow do you want to spend the day with me?" Lotor asked. 

"Will you protect me?" Keith asked as he squeezed Lotor's hands. 

"Of course I will," Lotor said, kissing Keith's cheek. 

"You are honestly going to drive my senses crazy if you keep kissing me every five seconds," Keith said as he splashed Lotor with the bath water. 

"It's not my fault you are amazing," Lotor teased as he splashed Keith back. Keith giggled as he looked at Lotor. 

 _Shit, I think I'm starting to like him._  


	5. I Don't Know if You are You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith thinks about stuff.

_I'm so confused._

Keith thought as he tagged behind Lotor. It had been two weeks and every day he had spent with Lotor, following him around base, to the battle room, the barracks, the throne room, everywhere. If Lotor was there, Keith was right behind. He started becoming dependent on Lotor. He felt as if he couldn't see him in direct eye line, he was going to get hurt. 

Because that's what always happened. Lotor would go to the restroom and Keith would get jumped and groped. If it weren't for Hunk fighting off the guards and pleading, he would be raped every time. 

Lotor always took long too. If he ever left Keith alone, he would take at least fifteen minutes doing whatever it was he said he was doing. Whether it be talk to a maid, go to the restroom, or just going back to the room because he forgot something as soon as they left, leaving Keith in the hallways all alone because Hunk was only there after breakfast. 

He started making deals. If he let Lotor kiss him or touch him, he would be protected. 

_It makes sense. It's a fair deal. Just breathe and don't freak out. It doesn't hurt, believe it._

He would tell himself. He had to, or he would go crazy. 

Today though, Lotor said that he didn't have to go outside with him. He could stay in bed because Gia was going to come and check up on him. It was time for his monthly check anyways. 

So Keith didn't wake up until he felt a nudge at his side. it was Hunk. 

"Hey, wake up. Your doctor is here, and we need to get you washed up," Hunk said, a look of panic in his eyes, his face neutral though. 

"What-why?" Keith asked, knowing he bathed the night before. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He winced as he straightened out, hissing as his thighs brushed together. 

_Lotor got too violent yesterday, he bit me too hard. Ugh, I told him to stop._

Hunk didn't answer and instead just offered his hands as Keith took them, being guided into the tub, which was already full of water. Hunk did it slowly, painfully slow. 

"I don't got the whole day. I would like to finish this so he wakes up by tomorrow," he could hear Gia say. Keith questioned what she meant by 'wake up', but he just sighed. 

_It's not like it matters anyway. Let her do what she wants, it's easier if you don't ask any questions._

"I-I'm going," Hunk said, speeding up a little bit as Keith reclined on the side of tub as Hunk pulled his legs up, bending them over the edge of the tub. He washed the bite marks on his inner thighs and gave Keith a sad look. 

"We were having fun yesterday," Keith said, trying to lighten to situation. 

"Doesn't look like you had fun," Hunk said, causing Keith to go silent, turning his head to hide how uncomfortable that made him. 

_He's right. it's not fun. I just can't do anything about it._

Hunk then finished up and drained the tub, pulling Keith out of the tub and drying him off. As he did so, Keith felt a warm liquid at his thighs and he eyed them, red oozing out from the bite marks. 

"Do you want me to bandage them up?" Hunk asked and Keith looked at him.

_Lotor said they made me look beautiful, and he liked beautiful things. Maybe it would make him happy to see them tonight. Will he be angry if I cover them up?_

Keith didn't answer in time and he soon felt bandages on his thighs. He was about to protest before he heard Gia. 

"I won't have you bleeding all over me, you slut," Gia said and Keith shook his head, looking down and feeling a tight pull at his chest. 

_Slut. At least Lotor never calls me a slut._

Hunk then pulled a gown over him. It wasn't like his regular gowns though, it was shorter, only covering a few inches below his hips. Keith was expecting more, but Hunk started cleaning up. 

_Why am I dressed like this? Should I ask Hunk? No, no, remember just shut up. It's better this way, you know it is._

"Come, lay down," Gia sighed as she casually started pulling things from her medical bag and placing them down. 

Keith looked at the bed and then to the other side of the room, where the couch was. He eyed the floating bed-like thing that looked like Gia had brought it with her. 

_What's that for? Don't think about just lay down. Oh gosh you  aren't breathing, breathebreathebreathebreathebreathe._

Keith thought before he felt his body collapse on the bed. 

Gia immediately jumped into action as she began inspecting him like  last time, pressing down on his inner thigh, making him comply and open his legs. His face didn't even have any emotion as she did it, his head handing as he looked behind him, detatching himself from whatever was happening. 

He then felt something enter him and he jolted back to life. He tried to side up, but he felt his arms were being held, not allowing him to. He looked behind him and he saw Hunk, holding him by his forearms. 

_What? Why? What is she going to do?_

Keith then felt his legs be spread wider and whatever it was enter him deeper. It wasn't thick, it was long and slender. It hurt. 

He just tried his best to not scream. After a while his face went back to theindifferent expression he had before. Except for the tiny winces he couldn't control, he looked at Hunk with the same face. Hunk looked back at him with remorse. 

"There's room for it. The camera shows that I need to move around some tissue, but it should work," Gia said and Keith winced as the thing was pulled out of him. He squeezed Hunk arms the whole time until it was out. He then felt his shirt be pulled up, Gia placing a cold liquid above his abdomen. He shuddered as he felt it, but tried to ignore it. 

_I want to scream so much. Oh god, everything hurts._

He looked up at Hunk, his eyes starting to plead him to do something, to make the pain stop. But he didn't do anything as Gia prodded him, scanned his abdomen. He got injected with something and he suddenly felt like his body was on fire. He squeezed Hunk's arms so tight, at this point begging with his actions to let him go and protect him. 

_Where's Lotor? Oh god, I need Lotor. He will make it stop._

"I know, I know it hurts," Gia said as he patted his thigh, only making Ketih panic more rather than console him. He wanted to glare at her. He wanted to punch her, but he couldn't even see what was happening beneath his hips, Hunk holding him down, and Gia having set up a curtain over the bed between his torso and whatever she was doing to him. 

"P-please," Keith then finally pleaded as he scratched at Hunk's arms. "M-m-make it s-stop," Keith whispered as hot, fat tears started to roll down his face. 

"Stop being such a baby," Gia said he felt a pinch at his vagina. 

"Ah!" Keith gasped at the harsh movement to his already sensitive body. 

Keith didn't speak after that, giving Hunk cold eyes as he panted for air. 

"Okay, last thing," Gia said and Keith didn't even say anything. 

"Ow!" Keith whimpered as he felt a needle inject him and he suddenly didn't feel anymore pain. 

_It's over. it's don-_

* * *

The next thing he remembered was eating with Lotor. Hunk was at his side as Lotor held up a spoonful to his mouth. 

"Wha-," Keith was about to say out of daze as he felt the food be placed in his mouth. He coughed as he didn't expect anything. 

"Were you zoning out, darling?" Lotor asked and Keith looked up. 

_What the hell? Was it a dream? Wasn't i just with Gia?_

"Are you feeling okay?" Lotor asked, concern in his voice. Keith looked around, inspecting the food hall. He then went to touch his thighs and nothing hurt. He was wearing his normal outfit, a long skirt, crop top, Vuja, and heels. He went to touch his hair and he felt a headband between his bangs and the rest of his hair that hung down. 

_Nothing's wrong. Nothing hurts. Maybe it was a dream._

"You're scaring me, beautiful, what's wrong?" Lotor asked again and Keith hiccuped and look at Hunk. He looked away and he suddenly felt a hand at his cheek. 

"I-I-I'm fine?" Keith said, question in his voice. 

"Is that a question? Are you not fine?" Lotor asked, rubbing Keith's temple over the table. 

"Where's Gia? Didshecomealready?" Keith asked, panicked. 

"She left a week ago," Lotor said and Keith's breathing stilled. 

_So it was a dream. Okay, breathe. It didn't happen._

"Hunk?" Lotor asked and Hunk perked up, turning towards them. 

"Can you take my darling to the bathroom?" Lotor asked and Hunk looked at him and hesitantly got up, helping Keith up. 

_"Hunk, hold her down or she's going to hurt herself!"_

Keith stilled as he suddenly heard Gia's voice. 

_What the heck was that? Am I imagining the nightmare again?_

"Are you okay?" Hunk asked, and Keith fell back to reality. He looked around and noticed he was in the bathroom. 

"U-Uh y-yes. I'm alright," Keith responded as he went to go in a stall. 

_"Please! Hunk, please, don't let her do this! Hunk! Hunk! Let me go! Hunk!"_

Keith gasped as he felt his body crash against the wall of the stall. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hunk asked and Keith didn't respond. 

_"He's-She's bleeding, not accepting the organ."_

Keith's breath quickened as he grabbed onto the walls, his palms flat and holding him steady. 

_"Why is he awake?"_

_"The sedative didn't work, and now he's actively rejecting the organ because he's pushing it out."_

_Everything hurts, make it stop. What is in me? It;s so big and I don't want it._

_"Get it out! Get it out!."_

_"Where's Hunk?"_

_"He's in the quarters."_

_"You have to call him down or he's going to bleed out."_

Keith panted, He looked around. It felt too real to be faked. 

"Come out, please, mam, I want to help you," Hunk pleaded as Keith's hearing started ringing. 

_Is that pounding at the door? Why can't I move?_

"Please mam, open up," Hunk repeated. 

_"Darling, hey, it's me. You have to open up, or you're going to die."_

_"Beautiful, don't you want to be able to make a family?" Lips on mine, restraints on my wrists._

_"Just relax." A calm voice. Trust. I trust that voice._

 

"Mam!" Hunk yelled as he opened the door, grabbing Keith by the sides of his arms. 

"Can you hear me?"

"Mam!" Hunk yelled. 

 

Keith snapped and started seeing reality other than the 'nightmare'. 

"I'm fine," Keith grumbled. "D-Don't call me t-that," Keith added as he breathed deeply, sloppily making his way over to the sink. 

"Mam-I mean-," Hunk struggled, placing a hand on Keith's shoulder. Keith jolted. 

_"Just open up, for me. For our family." A touch on my shoulder, a squeeze._

 

"Don't touch me!" Keith yelled. 

"Don't do that," Keith gasped as he rushed away, leaning back on the sink counters, back towards the mirrors. 

"I'm sorry, sorry," Hunk said. 

_"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. They will hurt her if I don't do this. Please understand. I'm so sorry," Crying, lots of crying._

 

 

"I-I need to go," Keith suddenly said as he rushed out of the bathroom and back to where they were eating. 

_Lotor I need to find Lotor, now!_

He rushed back to the table and saw Lotor's back. He ran towards it, but then was stopped by a general, Throk. 

"What are you rushing towards, you pretty whore?" He spoke.

"I-I need to see the Emperor," Keith stuttered, feeling a hand on his waist. 

"Throk!" He heard a voice thunder. "I suggest you remove your hands if you want them," it was Lotor. 

Throk lifted his hands up, leaving Keith relieved as he backed away. 

"Just doing as you say, my Emperor, or was it just that once that I-," Throk teased until there was a sharp scream in the food hall. Keith gasped as he saw a Galra hand on the floor, the smell of burning flesh pervading the air. Lotor had cut his hand off. 

"If you want to lose another, I suggest you keep speaking," Lotor said and Throk growled. Medics started rushing in, but as Throk turned, blood started spewing from where his hand had been cut off, sprawling onto Keith's face. Purple liquid splattering all over him. 

Keith looked in shock as he felt the liquid on him, the medics that had swarmed in, grabbing Throk. 

"Darling, are you-," Lotor asked, as he touched Keith and he backed away. "What's wrong?"

_"Darling, you feel so good. I wonder what they will look like?  More like you, or more like me? Hey-what's wrong? Aren't you happy for what you are going to create?"_

 

 

"Look at me," Lotor said, smudging off the blood off Keith's cheek, making Keith start shivering. 

_Am I scared of him? It's just a nightmare. it's not real. Stop being scared. There's nothing to be scared about._

"He was touching you. I just thought I would protect you. Sorry if I went too far. It won't happen again," Lotor consoled as he embraced Keith. 

_"I will protect them. Maybe one day they will rule the Empire. You will be such a good mother to them."_

 

 

"I-I want to go," Keith whispered, his body tensing up, mumbling into Lotor's chest. He didn't wrap his arms around Lotor, he didn't hug him back. His body didn't feel safe, and he couldn't get it to calm down. 

"Yes, of course," Lotor said and he picked Keith up like a child, wrapping his legs around his own torso, and making their chest collide.

_I feel so numb. I don't understand what's going on. It's a nightmare, but it feels so real. What did Gia do? Why does everything feel like it hurts, but it doesn't?_

He then felt his back collapse onto the bed, they were back in the room now, Lotor had set him down. 

He then felt Lotor strip him down, washing him with a damp cloth rather than forcing him in a bath. 

_"For the love of Vrepit, let me clean you!"_

 

Keith winced at the nightmare. 

"Are you hurt? Is that why? Did he hurt you?" Lotor asked and Keith numbly shook his head. 

"Then what's wrong, you can tell me," Lotor said and Keith didn't look at him, instead looked up. 

"Darling, don't ignore me," Lotor sighed, sounding disappointed as he continued washing Keith, rubbing his shoulders and face off, getting the blood off. He then felt him rub his face with a liquid, probably disinfectant of some sort. 

_"It's called an ultrasound on Earth. Oh-look there they are. Growing still, she won't show for a few weeks." Liquid on my stomach._

_"And he's not awake?"_

_"No, she-he isn't."_

 

"I-It's a nightmare," Keith confessed and Lotor stopped washing him. He got up and went to get his sleeping gowns. 

"It's j-just a nightmare. It's just very real. I'm fine, just w-want to sleep," Keith shuddered as Lotor made him sit up slightly, pulling the gown over him. 

"Do you want to talk about it?' Lotor asked and Keith shook his head, he didn't want to make it anymore real than it had to be. 

"Okay, do you want me to stay with you? I have things I had to do, but I can stay, if that's what you need," Lotor said, pulling the covers over Keith's shivering figure. 

"I'm fine, r-really. Y-you can go," Keith responded as Lotor rubbed his back gently, coaxing him. 

_"You did great sweetheart, you did amazing."_

 

"Are you sure?" Lotor asked one last time. 

"Yes," Keith said as he dug his face into the covers, trying to hide how utterly scared he was. 

"Okay, Hunk will come and check on you for lunch time," Lotor said, sitting up from the bed and removing the headband from Keith's hair, running his hands through it. "If anything is bothering you, you can tell him to call me. I will come," Lotor said as he placed a kiss on his cheek.  Keith nodded and Lotor left the room. 

As soon as he heard the door click shut, Keith started sobbing. He pulled the covers over his head and stuffed his face into the pillow. Everything didn't make sense. His head hurt, his feelings, his emotions, were just all over the place. His body felt so sensitive and nothing felt real. 

_"I know you will be as excited as I am when you find out. I just don't think you need to know until it's developed. Wouldn't want you trying anything."_

Keith sobbed. 

_Make it stop. It's not real, it's not Lotor. It's not real. Make it stop. Stop thinking about it._

Keith sobbed even more. He sobbed until he literally couldn't anymore, his body drained of energy. He breathed deeply as he tried going to sleep, his hands on his stomach.

_"Our child, they will be as beautiful as you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All is up for interpretation. I love reading comments, it helps me know what you guys think is happening and if I am not being too confusing! Thanks for reading


	6. The Reality

A few weeks passed and Keith started getting sick more frequently. He would start having the urge to vomit and he could barely keep anything down. He honestly thought that everyone around him would be more concerned that he was puking out his insides, but they all seemed phased by it in a way. 

Hunk would come in every morning and help him to the bathroom, almost becoming routine for him to throw up every morning. Lotor said he would call Gia, but it had been weeks and Gia never came. That was until Keith finally broke down.

It had been like any morning, Hunk coming in to his room to help him to the bathroom, hold his hair, and Keith just started sobbing. 

"What's wrong?" Hunk asked him and Keith just hunched over the toiler bowl. He tried to focus on anything other than what was happening. He tried to not pay attention at how the tile floor he was sitting on made him get goosebumps or the way that he panted erratically made him shake even more. 

The 'nightmare' hadn't stopped. Every night it would be the same thing, the same memory almost as if his mind was stuck on replay. He hates it. he hated everything and hated how everyone acted like it was fine. 

So he sobbed. He was tired. He was tired of throwing up. He was tired of Lotor caressing him and needing him to live. At that moment, everything just came crashing down and Keith couldn't stop crying. 

"Do you want me to get Lotor?" Hunk asked and Keith didn't move, contiued sobbing. 

"Okay, I am going to go get Lotor," Hunk said, but froze as Keith spoke. 

"You k-know w-what's-s w-wrong w-w-i-ith me, d-don't y-you?" Keith sobbed out, still facing the toilet and grasping onto it for dear life. 

"What do you mean, ma'm, I mean-," Hunk stuttered. 

"Just say it!" Keith yelled. "It's been w-w-eeks and I am s-so tired," Keith sobbed, throwing up again. 

"I don't know what you are talking about. I am going to go get Lotor," Hunk said as he rushed out. Keith continued sobbing, coughing in the process as he struggled to breathe. 

_I'm so tired of this._

"Darling?" Keith soon heard after a couple of minutes. Keith just looked away, going back to hovering over the bowl. 

"Hey, what's wrong? Is it especially bad today? Do you want me to stay with you?" Lotor asked, lovingly stroking his shoulder. Keith shrugged him off and groaned in pain as he continued to sob. 

"Hunk, if you could," Lotor said and Hunk looked at Keith and then at Lotor. 

"Of course, I will come back to serve him lunch," Hunk said. 

"That won't be necessary," Lotor said and Hunk's eyes got wide, but he nodded regardless, exiting the room. 

Lotor then placed his hand back on Keith's shoulder, more aggressively this time and squeezed it, causing Keith to whimper in pain as he coughed and sobbed. He tried shoving Lotor's hand off, but instead Lotor grabbed a fistful of his hair and forced him to look at him. There was less hair to grab, recently having cut it to his shoulders. 

"Darling, I don't think you are being never nice," Lotor said in a loving tone despite his vicious hold. Keith whimpered as he looked up at Lotor from where he was sitting. 

"Gia will be here today. She will be coming in a few doboshes and you need to behave," Lotor said and Keith just looked down. 

"Hey, look at me beautiful," Lotor said as he pulled Keith's hair harder, causing the boy to gasp. 

"Look at me," Lotor commanded and Keith did. Lotor had gotten a lot more violent. Keith refused to believe it because he was always so loving to him. His voice was always gentle and he always knew what to say, but at times like this Keith was afraid of him. 

"I need to tell you some important news when Gia comes. It will be a surprise, don't you like surprises, my dear?" Lotor asked and Keith hesitantly nodded. 

"Good, will you let me clean you up?" Lotor asked and Keith nodded. He carried him to the bed, bringing a small towel to wipe his face off and a hair brush to comb through his hair. 

"Do you like it short? It took a lot of convincing on your part to cut it, but I think it looks nice," Lotor said, twirling the strands in his fingers as he stood in front of Keith. 

"Hey, I know you haven't been feeling great, but I promise you, you are going to like this surprise," Lotor said as he planted a kiss on Keith's lips. 

"I'm hungry," Keith mumbled quietly as he looked down. 

"What? I think you need to be louder," Lotor teased, knowing how awful Keith felt for asking, especially recently. 

"I-I'm hungry," Keith mumbled a tad bit louder, still not looking up at Lotor's eyes, if anything avoiding them.

"I have told you, you need to ask for it harder if you really want it," Lotor teased, placing another kiss to his lips, deeper this time. 

"I'm hungry," Keith just repeated, with a normal voice now, a bit irritated. 

"I'm not going to give you anything if you are going to have an attitude," Lotor said as he pulled away, heading to go bathe. 

Keith whimpered as he grabbed onto his arm, making Lotor stop. 

"Please feed me," Keith begged as he pulled Lotor harder, making Lotor fall onto of him on the bed. 

"Please what?" Lotor asked and Keith turned red. 

"Please, feed me," Keith said as he forced himself to stroke Lotor's chest as he stood above him, his hands on either side of his head. 

"Okay, open up," Lotor instructed as he pulled up the night gown Keith was wearing, resting the bundled fabric at his hips. He never wore the Vuja anymore, not since he started getting 'sick'.

_Gosh, I hate this part. I hate how he makes me do this._

Keith sighed as Lotor brought his legs together, bending them so his knees were up and his feet were planted on the mattress. 

"Open," Lotor said and Keith turned red. Along with Lotor getting more aggressive, he also enjoyed making Keith feel humiliated. 

_It's not like I have a choice. I am so hungry. Lotor's doing me a favor. He is helping me survive. I should be grateful for him._

Keith looked away and slowly opened his legs, bringing his arms up to cover his face. He immediately felt fingers and he started crying. 

"Why are you crying beautiful?" Lotor asked as he continued, acting as if nothing was happening. 

_It's not like this isn't normal. Of course he isn't going to think anything about this. He's just doing what he always does, why are you so bothered by it?_

"I-I just-ah," Keith tried speaking. "C-can you do it quicker, pleas-ah," Keith asked as Lotor opened his legs up more and suddenly shoved in completely. Keith's eyes widened as he tried to pull away. 

"S-stop, slow down," Keith whimpered as Lotor grabbed his hands and placed them over Keith's mouth. 

"Hold them there. I don't want to hear you screaming, it ruins the moment," Lotor said and Keith nodded as he kept his hands over his mouth, cupping him screams. 

"Please, slower," Keith said, muffled beneath his hands. 

"Darling, I thought you were saying to do it faster," Lotor said, enunciating each word with a thrust, making Keith's eyes widen every time. 

Lotor continued, bringing a hand to cup Keith's damp cheek, rubbing some of his tears away while his other hand went under his night gown. 

"I never got to play with these because of the Vuja," Lotor said as he pinched Keith, releasing another muffled scream. 

"Please, Lotor, please stop," Keith rambled under his hands. 

"I thought you said you were hungry," Lotor said, pinching harder. 

"Lotor, you already came," Keith responded as best he could. 

"Oh, sometimes you milk me and I don't even know," Lotor chuckled, pulling out. He closes Keith's legs and unravels the gown, bringing it down to his ankles. Keith doesn't move, his hands still cupping his nose and mouth, muffling his quiet sobs. 

"You can take your hands off yourself," Lotor said and Keith does so, making his crying more audible. 

"Gia will be here soon, do you want to take a shower?" Lotor asked. "She will probably want you clean."

Keith nodded and let himself be guided into the bathtub, Lotor turned on the shower head and handed Keith what he needed to clean himself. 

"You've gotten a bit chubbier," Lotor said as he watched Keith shower. 

"I don't know how," Keith responded, void of emotion as he scrubbed his hair. 

"Have you ever wanted kids?" Lotor asked and Keith froze. 

"Kids?" Keith asked, rinsing himself off. 

"Yes, kids," Lotor said, getting in the shower, surprising Keith as he felt a peck to his neck. 

"Why are you asking me this?" Keith asked, trying not to sound bothered. 

_Of course I don't want kids. You know this, why do you keep asking me._

"You always say no when I ask you, but what would change your mind?" Lotor asked, scrubbing Keith's back,  Keith didn't answer. 

"What if you had kids with me?" Lotor asked and Keith jolted a bit, he looked at the tiled wall ahead of him, glad he wasn't facing Lotor for his face was all types of worried.

_You know what he's talking about. He wants to have kids with you. You can't tell him no. Without him. you die._

"I-I don't know," Keith responded as he felt Lotor's hands on his stomach. 

"They would be in here," Lotor said as he rubbed his stomach gently, his breath on Keith's neck, the water ringing in Keith's ears. 

"I-I, don't know," Keith repeated. 

"So you don't want kids? You must not like me as much as you say then," Lotor said, placing his chin on Keith's shoulder. 

"No-no, I-do," Keith said, panicked.

_If you lose him, you will die._

_But i don't want to have kids._

_He will hurt you if you say the wrong thing, you know he will._

_Maybe hurting me is better than this._

"Darling?" Lotor asked and Keith realized he had stopped talking. 

"I-I don't think I'm ready," was all Keith could say. Lotor grumbled and they finished washing up. 

* * *

"New haircut? What a fancy lady," Gia said as she entered the bedroom with her bag. Keith was in a short gown, the bed divided by a sheet so he couldn't see below his chest. Lotor was right next to him. 

"I'm not a lady," Keith mumbled and Gia rolled her eyes. 

"Sorry, I forgot having a vagina is a  _very_ manly feature," Gia said, making Keith glare at her and turn to face Lotor, who gave him a comforting smile. 

_You are so confusing. I never know if I should hate you or love you._

Keith thought as Lotor lovingly stroked his hair, trying to calm him. 

Gia didn't hesitate to settle in, she went to open up Keith's legs and pressing that spot on his thighs, that made it impossible to fight against her. 

"Now, how is the pregnant life? I've heard you have been throwing up like some type of machine," Gia asked as she examined between his legs.

Keith's eyes widened and he looked at Gia then at Lotor. 

"W-what do you mean? Preg-pregnant?" Keith stuttered. 

"Oh so you never told him?" Gia said, prodding at him. "Too busy to tell him he's carrying your child, but not too busy to feed him," Gia chuckled. 

"Gia, I would advise you to-," Lotor began to say. 

"I know, keep quiet," Gia grumbled as she continued. 

"What-what does-she, I'm-? Pregnant? Me-," Keith said, turning pale and incoherently speaking. 

_It's not like you didn't have suspicions. You knew. Now it's just more real._

"That-my nightmare," Keith said, hot tears slowly forming at his eyes. 

"It wasn't a nightmare, you knew. Everyone knew," Keith continued, whimpering as Gia mercilessly continued. 

"Beautiful, it's not a big deal," Lotor consoled. 

_Not a big deal? I'm carrying a child I didn't ask for and it's not a big deal?_

"You lied to me," Keith said. "Hunk lied to me. He knew didn't he?" Keith said. 

"How could you?" Keith asked, trying to pull his hands away from Lotor's. 

"Darling," Lotor said. 

"I let you have me. I let you hit me. I let you do anything you want. You always said you would protect me. Even after everything you said it was for my own good. You talked to me like a normal person. But now you are just like those generals. At least they didn't try to play mind games with me. At least they didn't make me feel like I could trust them, at least they weren't like you," Keith said blankly as he looked at the ceiling. As he finished speaking he felt Gia start to push her hand into him and he screamed. 

_Lotor, you need Lotor. LotorLotorLotor. She's not Lotor. Someone is touching you and it's not Lotor._

"You can be as mad as you want with me. You can hate me. But without me, you are going to die. Now that you have my child you are tied down to me," Lotor whispered in his ear as Gia continued. 

"Like me or not, you are mine, and no one else can have you. No one else can touch you without you feeling this exact same pain. So, you can choose to hate me, but you need me," Lotor continued and Keith whimpered as Gia kept going. 

_She's hurting you. She's not the father of your child. Make her stop touching you._

Keith tried to endure the pain, but after a couple of seconds he went to grab at Lotor's arm, squeezing them and begging him to make Gia stop. 

"Gia, you can stop now, he's learned his lesson," Lotor said and Keith started sobbing for at least ten minutes before anyone spoke up.

"Do you want to see the baby?" Gia asked as she rubbed some gel on Keith's stomach, making him flinch. 

Keith didn't say anything, just kept his head dug into Lotor's body. 

After a while, he could hear something being rolled in, and Gia explaining where the baby was. Keith still didn't look up, his eyes still producing tears. 

_I don't know how I can cry so much._

"Hey, sweetheart, look at our child," Lotor said and Keith whimpered, begging him to just let him be. 

_I don't want to see our fucking child. I don't even want it. I'm already broken down, I understand I have no choice. Just don't make me look at it._

"Look up," Lotor said, a bit more demanding and Keith slowly looked up, not at the screen, but at Lotor. He begged once more with his eyes.

_It's all I ask. I don't want to see it. Please._

Lotor's demanding glare didn't budge and Keith took a deep breath before he looked at the screen. There it was. Their child. 

_That's our child. I wanted it to badly to be a nightmare._

 


	7. The Meaning of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets hit with a big decision after Hunk confesses something.

"Just open your mouth," Lotor said. "Or are you going to make things hard, Darling?"

Keith tensed up. Lotor had put his head in between his legs, Keith on his knees on the floor while Lotor sat on the bed. 

"Lotor, please. I am tired," Keith tried to reason in the quietest voice. 

His morning sickness had stopped. It had been a week after Gia had come and dropped the big news. He hadn't left the room. No one had come and touched him, spoken to him, even seen him. Lotor had made sure of that. 

He spent the whole week with Keith, drilling the idea of the baby into his head, making sure Keith didn't do anything to get rid of it.  _It._ That's what Keith called it. It was a thing inside of him that he couldn't get rid of, something else to chain him down to this life. 

Just minutes before, Lotor had bathed him, pushing his fingers in him by force until Keith shamefully orgasmed. He begged Lotor to stop, to not make him feel good while he was doing something so unspeakably bad. 

Lotor didn't listen, not anymore. It was as if a switch had turned in him. Maybe it was always there and Keith just never saw it. 

Beside that, he was there, planted in between Lotor's legs. Lotor dressed himself, but didn't bother to help Keith, instead forcing him to wait in the bathroom, with a towel to keep him from shivering, and then dragging him into the bedroom in between his legs. 

"Open, you love me don't you?" Lotor said,  as he rubbed himself on Keith's cheek, making Keith gulp, gripping the towel around his abdomen tighter. 

"If you can make me come, we can go to bed right after," Lotor smiled, running his hands through Keith's damp hair. Keith looked up at him. He used that ultimatum every time. 

It's not like Keith had any choice. He had denied it before and Lotor slept with himself in Keith, not pulling out until the morning. He found it funny how Lotor was with him so he wouldn't hurt the baby, but he was treating him harsher than he had ever done before. 

It was never too painful though; that's what Keith hated. It always felt good in the end, no blood, no bruises. He was always so gentle that it made Keith want to cry more than he already did because his body was just so confused. 

"What's it going to be?" Lotor asked and Keith took a deep breath and opened his mouth, trying to bring himself around Lotor. He hadn't done that it in a long time. His pleasure house days were still a blur, but he tried not to gag. 

Lotor seemed unamused and gripped onto Keith head and slammed his mouth to the base, making Keith bring his hands and try to push himself off against Lotor's thighs. 

"I'm just helping you. Your screaming makes vibrations that make me more aroused," Lotor explained as if it were something that could be logically explained. Keith tried to muster words, he scratched against Lotor's thighs cause he couldn't breathe, but he wouldn't budge, the hold on his hair strong.

He thrust Keith's head for him instead, making Keith's eyes go wider and start becoming wetter than they already were. 

"Don't worry, almost there," Lotor said and Keith cried out. "Just a few more-," Lotor said before he stopped, holding Keith's head, but not moving. 

"Yes?" Lotor asked. 

_Is he talking to someone? Why did he stop? I don't care. I can'tbreatheohmy-Is that Hunk? That's his voice._

"Oh-um. Gia dropped off some medicine and I was instructed to drop it off-I will leave it here-I-," Hunk stuttered, not knowing what to do in the situation, Lotor still buried in Keith's mouth, who was crying and looked out of it. 

"Here, can you get some clothes?" Lotor said, eyeing how Keith was still in a towel. Hunk took a couple seconds but nodded and Lotor continued, shocking Keith. 

Once Hunk got the clothes, Lotor came, and pulled out of Keith. 

"Swallow it, or it doesn't count-," Lotor instructed, but Keith had already coughed it out. He clung onto his stomach and panted for air. The white liquid had spilled on the floor and was dribbling down Keith's chin. 

"Lick it all up," Lotor said, indifferently as he tucked himself away, watching Keith coughing and crying. 

"L-Lotor, p-please. I-I-," Keith tried to reason. 

"You love me, right? I said lick it. All. Up," Lotor repeated and Keith slowly leaned down to the floor, still sobbing and messily licked the white liquid off the floor. Once he got most of it he sat back up and looked at Lotor, his eyes red. 

Lotor smiled and cleaned the bit off his chin and made Keith swallow that as well, placing a kiss to his forehead before sitting back on the bed. 

"Hunk, since you are already here, be useful and dress  _him_ ," Lotor said. Keith flinched. Lotor knew how much it bothered him when he did that around Hunk. It only made Keith more anxious around him, knew he would ask questions he didn't like answering. 

At this point though, he didn't care. He just wanted to be dressed and in bed, sleeping. 

"Yes-yes of course, my emperor," Hunk said and Lotor got up. 

"I'm going to go for a walk. You said Gia was here?" Lotor asked and Hunk nodded. 

"I think I will go greet her," Lotor said as he walked out, leaving Hunk and Keith alone. The minute the door closed Keith let out a loud sob. Hunk shuttered, stepping back as Keith curled in on himself, sobbing violently. 

"Hey, hey," Hunk tried to console him, rubbing his back. "You didn't want that, did you?" Hunk asked and Keith flinched. Lotor had told him what to say. He had apologized every time after he did anything, every morning he would give Keith the same excuse, the same response,

_This is just my way of showing my love. You are just paying me back for all I have done for you. You love me, that's why you are going to let me do this, right?_

Was he right? Keith didn't know, but he didn't know otherwise for about a week now, so he sat up and wiped his tears away and gave Hunk an answer. 

"No, I did. I love him. It was-it was just surprising-that's all," Keith said, making Hunk's face frown. 

"Do you want to brush your teeth before bed?" Hunk asked. 

"I-I already did," Keith responded, knowing why he was asking. 

"Do you want to do it again?" Hunk asked and Keith took a couple seconds and nodded, getting help from Hunk to get up. 

"Is this how it had been, for the whole week?" Hunk asked as he helped Keith into his night gown before helping him stand up in front of the sink, setting up his tooth brush for him. 

"There's nothing wrong. I am fine," Keith said as he brushed his teeth, washing his face. "Why would you care anyways?" Keith asked, Hunk coming over and brushing his damp hair. 

"Because the Emperor is cruel," Hunk said. 

"That's not it," Keith said, making Hunk flinch. Keith spat out and stood still, letting Hunk continue to brush his hair. 

"I-I'm sorry," Hunk said as he finished and put the brush he was holding down. "They-they were going to hurt my friend if I didn't listen."

"It's fine," Keith responded. 

_You are pregnant now, so it's not like it matters anyway._

"It's not-because you are also my friend," Hunk said as Keith started walking out of the bathroom. 

"That's nice to know. I think I am fine now, you can go-," Keith began to say and he was suddenly turned around by Hunk, who grabbed him by his arms and made him turn to face him. 

"I didn't want to face it. You look so much like him-and you acted nothing like him," Hunk began to say and Keith looked at him, not knowing what he was talking about. 

"Keith. I know it's you-and I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to do this before. To-to tell you that I know who you are. I-I just didn't know how to. I didn't know how to after all I did to you-after not doing anything for so long. I have been in denial and look-I hurt you-this is my fault," Hunk said as he started crying. 

Keith just looked at him with wide eyes. 

_Keith._

He knew that was his name. He had never forgotten it and Lotor had confirmed it was indeed his name. He didn't remember this man in front of him, and he didn't know what to say other than he must be mistaken. 

Hunk always talked about Keith in such awe. That he was brave and stubborn and had so much fight within him that could never be tamed. 

He wasn't that. From the outside, he wasn't even a  _he_. Whoever this person was, it wasn't him, it couldn't be. So he just stared at him until something clicked. 

_Hunk. The yellow paladin. The team. Shiro. Lance. Pidge. Kolivan, Marmora._

It all started coming back to him and he pulled back, bumping into the sink behind him. 

"Keith, please. I-I know you can't forgive me, but-I just needed you to know that I remember you; that I know it's you," Hunk said, wiping away his tears, trying to console the shocked Keith who pulled away, panting as his memories came back. 

It was a blur, not exact moment, but just faces and faces, feeling and emotions of happiness. But then he focused on one feeling. 

_Pain._

They hadn't come for him when he was sent away to the pleasure house, he spent years there, in pain. Lotor had rescued him, not Voltron. Hunk had lied to him, had helped Lotor impregnate him. 

_They don't love you. Hunk doesn't love you. He used you to protect someone else. He risked you for someone else._

"Please, leave," Keith said as he looked down. 

"Keith-," Hunk began to say. 

"I am not Keith. He is a man and I am a woman, a lady," Keith said. "Are you blind?" Keith yelled as he looked up, gesturing to his physique. 

"Keith, I don't know what they did to you-but I know it's you. Pidge-she, she hacked into-and she-," Hunk began to explain. 

"Leave. I am happy here. You should find your friend elsewhere," Keith said as he stood up straight. "I am not your friend, and if I were, I know I would never forgive you for what you did to me, so please, leave," Keith said, standing his ground and speaking in a flat voice, with no emotion, making Hunk inch back even further.

"Please," Hunk responded. 

"If you don't leave, I am going to scream for Lotor, and say you have harmed me," Keith threatened. 

_I need him to leave. I am about to lose it and start crying._

"No, I won't leave you, not again," Hunk said and Keith sighed and screamed. 

Hunk just looked at him and immediately rushed out. 

* * *

Lotor came in shortly after and rushed into the bathroom where Keith continued to scream. 

"Darling, what's wrong?" Lotor asked as he wrapped his arms around Keith, patting his head into his shoulder. At that moment Keith started sobbing. 

"You love me, right?" Keith asked between choked sobs. 

"Yes, yes of course," Lotor responded quickly, rocking Keith gently in his hold. 

"You won't send me back?" Keith asked and Lotor froze. 

"What happened?" He asked the crying Keith. 

"Just say you won't," Keith mumbled as he calmed down. 

"No, of course not," Lotor gave his answer, tucking Keith's head below his chin and letting Keith bury his face in his chest. 

"I want to go to the planning room with you," Keith mumbled. "I want to help, I want to rescue people and help," Keith said and Lotor chuckled. 

"Whatever happened, you are perfect the way you are. You don't need to do this to feel useful," Lotor responded. 

"Please, I want to," Keith responded, almost whispering into Lotor's chest as they stood in the middle of the bathroom. 

"Of course, you can," Lotor said. 

"And you won't leave my side?" Keith asked. 

"I won't," he reassured. 

"Cause you love me? And you will never leave me?" Keith asked almost immediately. 

"Cause I love you," Lotor repeated. "I love you very much."


	8. Back to Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lotor go to see a fight and Keith meets two old people he thought he would never have to face again.

Keith got followed Lotor almost everywhere. It was mostly because Lotor made him, but also because Keith was absolutely terrified of what would happen if he were left alone. He kept reminding himself that Lotor wouldn't let anyone hurt him. He was bearing their child, and Lotor wouldn't kill their child right?

_Our child._

Keith thought about it in a more accepting way now. How could he not? After the whole Hunk thing, Keith has been avoiding needing servants to take care of him. Although he sees Hunk at least once a week, he never wants to be left alone with him. Lotor doesn't question it, just admiring that Keith might be succumbing to being by his side. And sadly, Keith finds himself warmed up to the idea. Everything seems right with Lotor. He rescued him from a bad situation, he comforted him when Gia changed him, he loves him.

_You know that isn't true._

He pushes the thought away. He can't think like that anymore. He can't, not when Keith knows what Lotor is capable of, not when he can't fight back, and especially not when the people he used to associate with could be put at risk. Whatever Hunk had told him, he knew it was true. He couldn't deny it, but he  _could_ ignore it as much as possible. 

He didn't want to think of them, or the fuzzy feeling of joy he got with them or when he thought about them. It wasn't his life anymore.

"Lotor," Keith said as they sat on the bed, Keith dressed in a nightgown, while Lotor rubbed his back, running his hands under his clothes. Before, this would have made Keith shiver, but now it was just a daily routine. He barely noticed how he did that anymore. How he let Lotor just do whatever he wanted. It's not like stopping him would change anything, he had learned that.

"Mhm, Darling?" Lotor hummed as he plopped his chin on Keith's shoulder, talking into his ear. 

"My back still hurts," Keith replied. The whole point of this was for Lotor to rub some soothing cream on his back to help with the back aches that came with being pregnant, but Lotor acted as if he forgot, like always. 

"I'm getting there," Lotor said as he placed a kiss on Keith's neck, making Keith flinch, he just tried to relax. Pregnancy made him tired anyways, and after it being six months, his body doesn't want to bother fighting Lotor, not anymore. 

"What did Gia say?" Keith asked, trying to steer the conversation, knowing Lotor liked talking about the doctor's appointments. Keith thought he enjoyed them so much because they always left Keith a bawling mess of tears. Lotor made sure that every time, Gia stimulates his body, making it painful, making Keith beg Lotor to stop, drawing in close to him for protection and security. Keith learned that Lotor liked feeling in power, a lot. 

Today, Gia came to tell them the sex of the baby, Keith not wanting to know because he didn't want to start getting attached, but of course Lotor wouldn't let him have his way. 

"It's a boy," Lotor mumbled, pulling his hands from under his clothes, adjusting the nightgown, before placing his hands on top of Keith's stomach. 

"You wanted a boy; that's good," Keith commented, letting himself recline on Lotor. 

"Yes, you are going to be a great mother," Lotor smiled as he cuddled Keith. 

_Mother. I am going to be a mother._

Keith could feel himself start crying. He wanted to, but he tried to hold back the tears. He worked so hard to be okay with this. He had accepted it. 

_Why am I crying?  This isn't new news. I know this. Why am I crying?_

Keith kept mentally repeating to get himself to stop, but it was too late. Lotor had already noticed. 

"Beautiful, what's wrong?" Lotor asked and Keith just shook his head. 

"Does your back hurt that much?" Lotor asked and Keith nodded almost too quickly. Lotor shifted slightly to get the cream which was somewhere on the bed. He lifted the nightgown so Keith's back was exposed and lovingly rubbed his back. After a while, Keith managed to stop crying, but he maintained a blank stare shortly after. 

"There's an arena match going on right now. Do you want to go?" Lotor asked, and Keith didn't respond at first, processing the question. He shook his head after a while. 

"We can watch from the royal stands, just me and you. No guards," Lotor added and Keith still didn't want to. He didn't like watching the arena fights. It was always so violent and all the guards were always eyeing him anyways, so it wasn't even like he could watch the fight without having to watch all the generals. 

It didn't help that even though Lotor always sat next to him, he still drew everyone's attention because Lotor rarely decided to sit in the royal box, instead sitting with the generals and guards on purpose to make Keith uncomfortable. Since he started showing, he didn't need to rely on Lotor for  _special feedings_ , he seemed to want to find all possible ways to make Keith depend on him.

Keith knew what Lotor wanted, he wanted Keith to rely on him right now. So Keith sighed, and nodded. 

"I'll go get your clothes," Lotor said as a weight was lifted off the bed, and Keith maintained his blank stare. 

_Soon, this baby will come out, and I am going to be a mother. I am going to have a son; I won't be able to do anything._

Keith didn't want to think about it anymore. He shook his head, trying to focus on anything else. 

"Who is fighting?" Keith asked as Lotor came back with clothes, undressing Keith and dressing him in outside clothes. Since he starting  _showing_ his outside clothes weren't crop tops and long skirt anymore. They were just long gowns with long sleeves, and some flats. 

"The Champion, Blue, and Galik," Lotor answered as  he tied Keith's hair up. The pony tail was still just a tuff of hair, Lotor had listened to him when Keith begged to keep it at shoulder length. Even though, it isn't what Lotor prefers, he still says it make him look cuter, so he permits it. 

"That sounds like a good match," Keith said. "You always get excited when the Champion fights."

Lotor just hummed in response and led Keith out of their quarters. 

* * *

There was a lot of shouting, like usual. But at least it was just him and Lotor. 

"They are quite intriguing aren't they?" Lotor said as he placed his hands atop Keith's stomach, he was sitting in his lap, both of them watching the arena fight. 

Keith nodded and tried to focus on the match, or anything but Lotor making advances on him. If he was able to ignore and not respond for long enough, Lotor got bored, and would stop trying to raise a reaction in public. There was no one around either, so there was less of a possibility of Keith getting that uncomfortable.

"Don't you ever wonder how such small creatures can last so long? They are just like you, yet they are able to defeat all these enemies," Lotor said, resting his head on Keith's shoulder, his hot breath on Keith's neck. 

"They are able to fight and survive, even retaliate while you sit here in my lap, scared for your life," Lotor softly said, as if the tone of his voice could make it less hurtful. "Why do you think that is?"

Keith didn't answer, he just kept trying to pretend as if they were just watching the match. 

"Darling, answer me. Why do you think that is?" Lotor persisted. 

"I-I don't know," Keith mumbled as he still didn't turn around, the crowd around them was cheering as the Champion and Blue threw another blow. 

"The Champion was here before, but he still holds the same might as the first time he arrived. Blue was sent for advancements in our druid's experiments, but even after that he still has so much fight. Even after being put int he arena, he continues. But Darling, why did you give up so easily?" Lotor asked. 

_I didn't. Did I? Am I acting as if I wanted this? I just don't see the point in fighting. Have I given up completely?_

"Out of all of the paladins, I thought you would be the hardest to break," Lotor whispered in Keith's ear, his voice slow. That made Keith flinch. 

_Paladins. He's admitting to me being a paladin. I wasn't though. I don't remember being with them. I wasn't a part of their team. I left, they let me leave. That's why they chose themselves over me. That's why Hunk chose them over me. I'm not like them. I'm not a paladin._

"What would they all say if they saw you now? How did Hunk react? Was he in disgust? Is that why he requested to not serve you?" Lotor said, placing kisses on Keith's neck. 

_Did Hunk look in disgust? Did he request not to see me? Lotor could be lying. But why would he lie? He said he loves me. I am carrying his child; that has to mean something. If Hunk is in disgust, then all of them will be too. I don't deserve to see them. Maybe it's a good thing that Hunk no longer wants to see me._

"What are you thinking?" Lotor asked, stopping and giving Keith time to answer. 

"I-I don't know," Keith repeated, his voice was shaky and he sounded like he was about to cry. 

_Is it all true? Am I just weak? Have I given up? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know._

"Hey, hey," Lotor said as he pulled Keith back, hugging him from behind. "I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. I just wanted your thoughts. Sorry if I was harsh. I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally."

"I don't know," Keith repeated, like a mantra. He sounded like he was going insane. 

"The match is over, would you like to go back?" Lotor asks, and Keith just nods as Lotor puts an arm around the small of his back and guides him to their room.

All Keith hears are a bunch of voices around him. Loud chatters and screams as the fight officially ends. He doesn't pay attention to where he is being taken. They stop abruptly and he doesn't know why. Before he was the time to process where he is, he hears a voice, a voice that's too familiar. 

"Prince Lotor," the voice says. Keith looks around. They are in a prison hallway. He is standing behind Lotor and the Champion and Blue are in front of them. Guards are behind them, holding their shackled hands in place. 

"Today was a good match," Lotor says and Keith manages to hide further behind him, blocking his figure from the two men. 

_They will think I am disgusting._

Was all Keith could think as he placed his hands on his stomach, as some type of comfort. 

"You mean it was fun watching us almost get killed, again?" The other one spoke. 

"Your spirit never seems to dwindle," Lotor says as Keith buries his face into Lotor's back, continuing to try to keep himself hidden and as separated from the others. "But we were just passing by, wanted to congratulate you on your recent victory."

"You were just passing by with a slave you managed to capture?" The same defiant voice said. 

"Blue, are you making assumptions about your emperor?" Lotor asked, a bit of thrill in his voice as Keith tensed up, balling up his hands into fists.

"Blue, stop," the other voice said, and there were sounds of struggling for a few seconds. 

"Are you assuming that this slave in not with me out of their own accord?" Lotor says.

"No sane and person with any dignity would be with you out of their own will," the voice said, Blue, with anger. It sounded like he was being held down. 

"Are you saying that you would be repulsed by someone that would willingly be with me?" Lotor asked. 

"What are you getting at? Leave us alone. You already are forcing us to fight to survive, just lock us up or whatever," he replied, ignoring the question. Keith braced himself for a hit, or yelling. He knew how Lotor got when people ignored his questions. He either let it go, or he reacted aggressively. Nothing of the sort came. 

Instead he felt Lotor reach behind him and grab his elbows, pulling him in front of him, he was facing him. 

"Now that I ran into both of you, I actually needed to inform you of my recent request," Lotor said. Keith just looked up at him, Lotor not looking back. 

_What are you thinking? You didn't do this by accident. You never do. What are you going to do?_

"You see, we have a new heir on the way, and my darling will need protection as I will need to go abroad to settle disputes. I have been able to stay along their side, but now that is no longer the case," Lotor explained. It was news to Keith too. He never mentioned this to Keith. 

_Why are you doing this?_

"I have requested that it is only fit that the two strongest...fighters protect my beautiful while I am away," Lotor explained, still not looking at Keith, who at this point didn't know what to do. 

_They will see me. They will think I am disgusting. I am disgusting. They will see. They will see. They are going to see._

"Make your slaves take care of your personal slave," Blue scoffed. 

Lotor smiled, Keith could see it as he finally met his eyes. Lotor gently undid his hair, letting his bangs and hair fall on his shoulders, his bangs covering his eyes. 

"Release them," Lotor instructed and Keith could hear weapons withdraw and metals clacking. "Escort them to our room," Lotor said as he planted a kiss on Keith's head. "I have something to take care of, darling," Lotor added as he started walking away, but Keith grabbed onto him, mumbling something only Lotor heard, begging to not leave him. 

"They will not hurt you. I be there later tonight," Lotor said, in a tender voice. It sounded fake. If Keith wasn't in so much panic, he would have noticed it, but at the moment he just didn't want Lotor to leave him alone. 

But soon enough, he left, practically prying Keith off of him in the process. 

_He's leaving you, you and your baby. They will see how disgusting you are now. Lotor isn't here to help you, he left._

 

Keith didn't know why he suddenly felt the need for Lotor not to leave him, but he tried to fight off the thoughts. He wanted it all to stop. He wanted to stop doubting himself, to not rely on anything, to just have stability. Lotor brought him stability, but now new people were going to be in his life now. He didn't want new people. 

They made everything scary, unknown. Keith was tired of not knowing things. 

"Obey the emperor's orders, or there will be consequences for the rest of your team," the guards instructed. Keith could faintly hear their footsteps fade out with the repeating thoughts in his head. 

"So what? Now we have to babysit his freaking pet?" Blue said. 

_They think I'm disgusting. I hear it in his voice._

"Don't speak that way in front of them. Have some decency to think about their feelings, Blue," the other voice said, Keith divulged it was the Champion. He didn't know their actual names, but he remembered what they looked like. Maybe that's why he refused to turn around, why he let Lotor cover his eyes with his hair, because he didn't want to see them. 

He didn't want them to see _him_.

"Whatever," Blue said and Keith felt a touch to his shoulder. sh

"We should get going," the Champion said. His voice was softer, reassuring. It didn't make Keith any less tense as he felt the metal hand on him. If anything it made him still more. 

Keith shook his head, hoping that would stop them from touching him. 

"They won't walk," Blue said. 

"They are probably in shock, maybe they can't walk," the Champion said and Keith stilled even more. They were not wrong. Keith couldn't walk, not because he was injured, but just he felt overwhelmed, in shock, his mind was freezing the world in place. 

"I'm not carrying them," Blue said as Keith felt a tug at his hand, forcing him to stumble forward. A whimper escaped him as he fell to the floor. 

_They hate you. They hate you so much. Run away, do something!_

"Lance!" the Champion yelled as Keith was picked up. 

_Please just leave me alone. Why can't I run away? Why isn't my body listening to me?_

"Oh, they are very pregnant," Blue commented and Keith could feel his whole face go pale. The Champion was holding the small of his back as he led Keith forward, helping his walk, but not carrying him. 

"Stop," he told Blue. "You don't know what they might have gone through. There are all different kinds of prisoners-," he began to say until they were able to walk out of the dark hallway, finally getting a look at Keith's skin, his hair, the shape of his face. 

"This is a human," Blue said as Keith felt someone, probably Blue, grab his hand. Keith yanked it away. "Hey, how did you get here?" Lance asked as if Keith would just simply answer. 

_Run! Why can't I run? I feel my breathing start to speed up. Why is my heart beating so fast? this hurts. This hurts so much._

Keith instead weakly pulled away from the Champion and walked on his own, making the two follow him instead. 

"I didn't know the Galra collected more humans," Blue said. "Do you think they made it to Earth? Do you think they made it to our home? What if-," he began to say before Keith suddenly collapsed going into one of the hallways. 

Both of the arena fighters rushed up to him, the Champion going to his knees to check if he was okay to get up. 

"The baby," the Champion mentioned. "Hey, are you alright?" No answer. He then continued to swipe away Keith's bangs, revealing his full face. 

Keith slowly opens his eyes and managed to look up at the Champion. 

He expects to see a face full of disgust, maybe anger, but he is faced with utter shock as the Champion meets his eyes. 

"Will you just pick them up already? This whole thing-," Blue begins to say, looking down to meet Keith's eyes, giving Keith the same shocked look as the other. 

"That looks-it looks like-."

"But it can't be. That makes no sense."


	9. The Final Blow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made this not anonymous...

The next time he woke up it was to a warm touch cradling him. He managed to wake up slightly and see that he was in Lotor's arms, their legs tangled as he was held close to his chest. 

"You're awake," Lotor said as he sensed Keith wake up, he planted a kiss on his forehead, causing Keith to fully wake up. 

_What happened?_

He looked around, they were in their room, the blankets were wrapped into the mess that their tangled limbs made, and Gia was sitting next to them. Beside her there was a column of machines, making faint beeping noises. As Keith traced the wires and lines from the machines he realized he was plugged into one, moving his hand above the blankets to see he was an IV in his hand. 

"You fainted," Lotor answered the implied question. 

"The baby?" Keith whimpered. A big part of him hoped he had killed it. But a small part of him now wanted everything but that. Now, a lot of him wanted to hold the baby in his arms and care for it, the sooner his due date was. It hurt almost, to know his body wanted one thing while his mind wanted another, and his mind was starting to succumb to what his body wanted. 

"He's stable," Gia said, tapping at the machine she was standing next to. Keith sighed, he didn't know if it was disappointment or relief. 

"Do you remember what happened?" Lotor asked and Keith thought back before giving a response. 

_I don't. Did we even leave the room? The last thing I remember is Lotor rubbing my back._

Keith shook his head, letting it fall into Lotor's chest, absorbing his scent. Strangely, it gave him comfort. Yet another thing he was conflicted about, Lotor. At the moment, he didn't have the energy to hate him though or connect the dots as to why Lotor might not be who he thinks he is. Instead, he wants to go back to sleep. He just feels very tired. 

"Darling, you need to eat something, do you want something sweet?" Lotor asked and Keith just hummed in response. Lotor took it as a yes and wrapped his arms tighter around him. It was honestly like he was a baby, Lotor having wrapped him in a blanket as well. 

It made him feel secure, warm, just nice. It was a few moments before there was noise around him again, waking him up. He felt the warmth surrounding him disappear and he whimpered in betrayal.

"We were ordered to bring food, my lord," a voice says and it gives Keith goosebumps. It sounds familiar, but he's too groggy to pinpoint it. Instead, he tried to get Lotor to hug him again, or return tot he warmth by wrapping his arms around where Lotor was, making sure not to let his IV tangle.

"Oh, darling," Lotor chuckled, shocked as Keith desperately grabbed him and buried his head back into where it was before. Lotor grabbed him instead by his shoulders and gently got out from behind him, leaving Keith alone on the bed. Gia came over and adjusted the pillows on his bed, making him sit upright against the plush and face forward. 

He whined throughout the whole process, but finally gave in as he felt someone grab his hand, he  _knew_ it was Lotor, he sensed it. He had settled beside him on the bed.

Keith was about to go back to sleep until he managed to look straight ahead of him, making the worst eye contact. Blue eyes staring at him in horror, pale skin, a face that was trying not to cry, but wasn't doing a very good job. 

"You can grab a chair and feed my beautiful from beside the bed," Lotor said and he smirked at how Keith's hand tensed where he was holding it, how his face went from tired to wide awake. 

The pair of blue eyes said nothing, and the ones next to them seemed to not even muster up the willpower to breathe. It only made Keith tense more than he already had. 

Blue, the blue pair of eyes, pulled up a chair, either way, setting the bowl of what looked like fruits on the end table next to Keith's side of the bed. He shifted a little where he was sitting, seeing that is he just kept scooting little by little farther away he could maybe escape this situation. 

The other pair of eyes, the Champion came closer, scooting a chair next to Blue. His face didn't change from pure and utter shock even as he finally sat down. 

"I am going to go bathe, if this could be done before I come back, it would better for my darling's health as it has been a while since  _he_  has eaten," Lotor said as he got off the bed, letting go of Keith's hand. 

Keith didn't even flinch at the pronoun, instead, feeling numb to the whole situation, trying to get his mind to be anywhere other than there. 

It was them. They knew him. They were judging him. They didn't want him. And the look on their faces meant they recognized him. 

He hated it. He hated being put in this situation. He hated how Lotor did this, but mostly it frustrated Keith because he didn't know if he was doing it on purpose. 

_He loved him, right? He wouldn't do something like this knowing it made Keith uncomfortable, right?_

The thing is Keith knew the real answer to those questions deep inside somewhere he was trying to forget about, but now, as he felt the two pairs of eyes on him, he didn't even think about Lotor. He just wanted to disappear. 

He couldn't do that though as Lotor started the water, and he saw a brightly colored piece of fruit at his mouth. Blue had it on a fork, putting it up to Keith's mouth, prompting him to open it. 

Keith could feel tears building up as he stared at the fruit. 

"Darling, you better be eating," Lotor hollered from the bathroom, his voice booming even as the water beat the tiled floor. 

Keith gulped as soon as he heard that and quickly opened his mouth, taking the fruit quickly from the utensil and looking down. 

The process continued until the bowl was almost empty, the Champion decided to speak. 

"Do you remember us?" His voice sounded so weak, so hopeless. It made Keith's stomach churn. He didn't know if it was from anger or from how truly sad his tone was. 

Keith didn't give a verbal answer for a while, instead, chewing and continuing to look down. 

"Would you at least look at me? I'm-I'm your brother, please," the Champion said and Keith did. His cheeks were already damp from crying before, but as he finally took the time to make eye contact, he couldn't hold back. 

"Please, tell me what happened," he begged, Keith only remained silent, letting Blue feed him the last of the fruit. He gave the Champion an answer this time. 

He shook his head. 

He didn't need to know. Keith didn't want him to know more than what he could already see. 

"How," Blue sighed. "How-can you, you just-how can you just listen to him?" Lance says, and Keith's eyes widen. 

_Because I'm not like you. Because I'm weak. Lotor said I am weak. I guess it is pretty disgusting that I am willingly sitting on this bed eating goddamn fruit because I am afraid of what he might do to me if I don't._

He gives them the short answer though, the one that will make them hate him, and leave him alone. 

"I love him," he lies. At least, he convinced himself it's a lie. It isn't completely, his body, his pregnant body, can't live without Lotor.

The Champion's face turns sour as he stands up. 

"No, you don't! What did he do to you? Why are you pregnant? Where did they take you, and why are you so afraid to tell me?" he yelled out, making Keith flinch. 

"Shiro," Blue said, the name made Keith flinch. It was much easier to think of them as their other names, the ones that belonged here. Not the ones that belonged to whatever life they had before. 

"I don't know what you are talking about," Keith responses, calmly. 

"Don't give me that bullshit. You are pouring tears, you practically almost threw up when you say us. You know us, and I have a right to know what happened. You don't have to be afraid of him, we are here. We can protect you," the Champion said. 

"There's-you don't have to protect me from anything," Keith said. "I'm-everything is fine the way it is. I am fine," he continued. 

_This is what Lotor wants._

Keith thought. He connects the dots the more he thinks about it, the more they look at him with remorse. This is Lotor's idea of a test. He wants Keith to reject them, he is waiting for Keith to do something wrong. 

_I won't. I won't do anything wrong. He will be happy I am doing this, and maybe this will make him happy. Maybe this will make him nice for at least a few days._

"Kei-" the Champion began to say. 

"If you are done, I would advise you to call for the emperor," Keith interjected before he could finish. 

It was cold, his tone was cold. But he needed to push them away. 

"No, please just-," he tried to speak again before Lotor walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, walking up next to Keith and placing a kiss to his forehead, making Keith shiver. 

The Champion took notice, and glared at the emperor. 

"Are you still hungry?" Lotor asked as he placed his hand on Keith's right shoulder. Keith shook his head and he felt Lotor harshly squeeze his shoulder, his answer was the wrong one.

"Are you sure? Do you want more fruit?" Lotor asked, and this time Keith nodded his head. 

"Go get more fruit for my beautiful," Lotor instructed with a grin on his face to Blue, who hesitantly got up, leaving the Champion in the room with them. 

Keith was already on the edge, but the fast that Lotor could try anything in front of the Champion and he would be completely helpless was terrifying. 

"Look, there is a piece left," Lotor said, slipping it into his own mouth. Within a matter of seconds, his mouth was on Keith's and he could feel the piece of fruit get pushed into his mouth. 

Keith just took it and chewed it as Lotor pulled away. 

"Get your hands off my brother," the Champion growled. 

"Oh, what makes you think he is your brother?" Lotor asks, in his innocent tone. 

"Don't do that. You take him from us and don't even let off a clue of where he could possibly be. You convince him into thinking he is your personal slave, and have him terrified to even look at us and speak more than a sentence-," he goes on. 

"Stop," Keith speaks, not able to listen to more. The words escape his mouth before he was the time to process he is saying them though. 

"Look, you've upset my beautiful," Lotor responds, running his hand through Keith's hair. 

"Stop calling him that, he's not  _yours_. What did you do to him? Why is he pregnant? You-," the Champion kept saying. 

"I would choose your words very carefully," Lotor warned and the Champion's voice seems to crack. 

"I think you should leave, you are upsetting my darling. Plus, we wouldn't want you to say anything that would put your other friends in danger now, would we? Because that's why you aren't attacking me right? Because if you do, others will get hurt. Because you care more about the safety of others than you do the person you presume is your brother," Lotor says, rather than asks. 

"That's not-," the Champion responds. 

"It's not? Because I think it's been obvious you could have found out what happened to your apparent brother if you thought hard enough if you rebelled more; if you were willing to put him above all others, but you couldn't. You still can't," Lotor said, placing his hand into the back of Keith's shirt, rubbing circles directly onto his back.

"Stop putting words-," the Champion tried again. 

"You don't know what is going on now because you couldn't be bothered to care enough then, but you have the audacity to blame me for what has occurred. I have done nothing but care for my lover. Now, if he was your brother, I doubt he would ever forgive you for choosing some strangers over him," Lotor said, and that made Keith whimper.

It was true. 

_He chose other people over me. Lotor' s right._

"Is that what you have been telling him? Is that what you tell him as you rape-," the Champion said and suddenly there's a sharp slapping noise. Keith doesn't need to look up to know what happened, Lotor's hand had pulled out of his shirt, and there was more yelling. 

He doesn't even want to look up. 

"Keith, please," he heard him say, but he ignored it. He curled up on his side as best as he could with the size of his belly and his IV and stayed silent. He soon heard Blue's voice, a plate shattering, and even more voices. It sounded like guards. 

Once it was silent, he felt a hand on his side, fitting perfectly into the dip of his waist, or what his pregnancy had left of his waist. 

It was Lotor, Keith didn't know how he knew it was Lotor, he just knew, and he felt comforted by it.

It only took a few seconds for Lotor to climb in behind him, Keith could feel the soft texture of his sleepwear brushing up on his arms as he enveloped the shaking mound that was Keith. 

As soon as they got settled, Lotor nestled into Keith's shoulder, placing kisses to his neck, and Keith started sobbing. 

He didn't know entirely why. He tried to pinpoint it to what happened that day, or maybe to Lotor. He tried to blame it on how the two pairs of eyes looked at him in such shame, in such disgust.

Maybe it was how everyone he had known before didn't care enough for him to choose him first, to care enough to fight for him. 

Maybe he cried so hard because he was coming to terms with something he thought he could fight off, ignore, avoid. 

The fact that Lotor was the only one that cared for him, the fact that he truly was alone, or maybe it was the fact that Lotor was the only one that loved him, unconditionally.

Lotor was the only one he had left, and that truly is what broke him. 


End file.
